Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Well, just got back from a prolonged vacation in Maryland. Oh well, it was a good vacation. Spent a lot of time playing guitar. I never have that much time to play guitar, so it was nice. The ride home wasn't that bad. I wish we took that train...It's so funny because on the way to Maryland, all I could think about was You, and on the way back home, all I could think about was You. Very, very, very funny stuff. I tried not to make the ride home as painful and nostalgic as the train ride, but that was a fail. What is it with me and transportation? I guess I can't ride any mode of transportation without having that stupid nostalgic feeling. I hate it, but somehow it gives me that sense of hope I was talking about in my last post. Yeah, that's what it is. (:

I follow trends too much. So, last post of 2008. What I loved, and what I hated...
Here it goes...

Overall, this year I've learned so much. I don't think that I've ever had such a rewarding year of my life until now. This year started off at a low, low, low spot, and I think that it's going out on a high note. And I couldn't be happier.
Just a few pieces of advice/things that need to be said...
-I fall for people way too easily.
-Dogs really are man's best friend.
-I treat music video premieres/single premieres/CD releases like their holy days.
-The Internet is truly an amazing thing.
-I get my hopes up too quickly.
-I'm obessesed with some kind of food every month.
-I want to be a Pin-Up girl.
-Insomnia was added to depression.
-My best friends are like my sisters. I can tell them anything and everything, and they'll always have my back.<3
-I got a little more loud this year.
-Doctors really do help.
-One's confidence comes from the combination of positive and negative feedback they receive.
-Long distance friendships are the best. Love you, Jem.
-I've discovered my talent for painting. Especially portraits.
-I love being a nerd.
-I changed my type of pointe shoes three times this year.
-The thought of having hair other places besides your head and eyebrows disgusts me.
-Vinyl kicks ass.
-I treat my music collection like they're babies.
-Sitting in the same room where something amazing happened easily brings tears to my eyes.
-I talk to my stomach.
-I've discovered what love is. And it's so beautiful.
-Love isn't measured by how much you show it.
-Feeling pain is better than feeling loss.
-Twilight was definitely better as a book.
-I now have a different outlook on sex.
-I think way too much.
-Silence scares me.
-Time doesn't always heal.
-Money doesn't mean anything to me anymore.
-Girls, you know that boy that you know you will always have a crush on? Never give up on him.
-Periods suck...and commas rule. (;
-Everyone hates over-punctuation.
-Age is just a number.
-Wondering if someone loves you back is much better than knowing that they don't.
-I've perfected my british accent. I think it's very convincing.
-I've learned to not follow whatever my friends do.
-Like small children, sometimes boys need things repeated to them.
-When I try to not to make what I have to say come out the wrong way, it does.
-I tend to exagerrate...everything.
-Whenever I pass by a security camera in the mall or at a store, I've gotten into the habit of flashing up a hippie peace sign. (:
-Pay attention to the shy and quiet people, they'll surprise you.
-The Jonas Brothers seriously annoyed the crap out of me this year.
-Sometimes crying doesn't get you what you want.
-I think I have more friends online than I do in real life...
-I'm finally admitting that I'm a crier. I cry at almost everything.
-But I can most definitely laugh at almost everything too.
-I finally bought some Sensual Amber.
-I'm trying to be overtalented.
-My dad finally agrees on some of my taste in music, and I agree on some of his.
-Just seeing/hearing certain names just makes me smile.
-I've been left home alone too many times this year, but I love it because I dance on the tables and turn the music up as loud as I want.
-There is never enough makeup in the world to cover up how ugly you feel.
-Draining a bruised nail actually doesn't hurt.
-The stage is my home.
-YouTube has seriously made this year amazing.
-You have no idea how many times I want to write down Their names, but I still refuse to.
-Picnik.com is addicting.
-Hot tea and the Beatles calm me down instantly.
-K.C. is my favorite dancer. And I have to have everything she has.
-I've come to the conclusion that scene kids are fucking stupid.
-Beagles have become my favorite dog breed.
-Blogging makes everybody happy.
Wow, I still feel like there's more to say, but I think that's all you guys could handle. Just think about it...I lived all of that ↑ plus so much more. (:
I hope everyone had a memorable year, I know I did. Happy New Year, everyone! See you all in 2009!!

Friday, December 26, 2008


are on my Christmas list for next year. I would also like some Persian rugs, some tea that I've never tried before, and some wonderful incense would be nice.

I feel so blessed to have found love at such a young age. Happiness is found in love, and most definitely I've escaped my troubles and worries and found myself happy again because of my boys. Oh, you boys will never change...
B.Bear, you will never fail to amaze me. You are always full of surprises, and you're one toy that I never want to find the off switch for.
Walkman, you're always in that feel good mood. I truly admire you're sense of what real fun is.
Sizzle, you're the guy to go to when you want a big hug. Gosh, I love the way your arms just seem to be open all the time for anyone and everyone that needs some loving.
and last but not least, Mr.Gentleman. You are the reason why I'm not afraid to grow up without actually growing up. You've shown me that little kids can grow up but never lose their childhood. You've shown me that kids can be underestimated and can find true love. You've shown me what true love is.

Boys will be boys. Thanks for making my shitty Christmas a lot better.

Oh, and look at what I've been playing all day:

a few things about this vid:
-i just learned it today
-the last E string is missing
-i'm terrible at singing, so i didn't sing :P
-and the tuning is one full step down

don't laugh at me xP

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas, folks.

Let me start off saying, Merry Christmas to you Christians out there! Oh, and a continued Happy Hannukah to those Jews. Kwanza is tomorrow right? I don't know, but Happy Holidays everyone!

For Christmas, I just got two CDs: "...Live In Chicago" by Panic at The Disco (which I asked for the Special Edition, but they didn't get it in time) and the legendary "Abbey Road" by The Beatles (a classic that I still didn't have until today). I've been listening to "Abbey Road" all day long, I'm waiting until later tonight to start watching "...Live In Chicago". You know me...I've also been trying to play a few Beatles and Bob Dylan songs on my wonderful acoustic guitar that my parents kindly brought to Maryland for me. I found the tabs for "I Want You (She's So Heavy)", and I'm working on it. My dad introduced me to this song called "I'm Easy" by Keith Carradine. I love it. My dad has always had a good taste in music. He even played it for me on my guitar. He attempted a Bob Dylan song, but I just laughed at him and told him to stop. I'm still really mad that I didn't get a cell phone. I'm probably just going to BEG my grandmother who's been offering to get me a phone for the past few months. My parents always stop her though, but it's my Christmas present that I wanted. I hope I'm not sounding spoiled when I say that...

This week has been very interesting. All of Monday, all I could think about was You. The train ride was pure torture because You were on my mind. If that train ride wasn't enough, I waited for your reply via Internet. Oh goodness, it was terrible. I just gave up. And then Youuuuu came into my life. Wow, that shook things up a bit. Actually it changed a lot of things. I'm having a lot of fun talking to You. And I love it. I only have one concern: I think I want something different than You do, but I still want to be with you. I really don't think our personalities pair up perfectly, but You're just so damn good at making me smile. You're confusing sometimes, oh so confusing. But I like I said, I love it. I love the feeling that You give me, even if it means that I have to change my panties...you didn't hear that. But I honestly hope things work out between us because I really do like You, even though I shouldn't. The only thing that I hate that You do is that You make me feel so stupid sometimes. Gah, so stupid...and I know that I shouldn't be feeling like this towards You, but I do. And I must honestly say that I'll be crushed if nothing happens...gosh, this is getting crazy...
But I like it. (;

Gahh!! Girl, you've given me a whole other reason to look up to you. You're truly one of my role models in life, dance, and love. I can tell that you're very happy with life and with him. I swear, you guys are going to get married. Merry Christmas, lovers!!<333

I'll probably still be playing guitar all day, but don't be afraid to bother me!!
Happy Holidays again!! <333>

Monday, December 22, 2008

bored on a train.

i got my wish and got a train to nowhere.

not really, just a long and wonderful train ride to maryland. i wrote my blog on the train even though i didn't have internet connection. it's a long read. so whatever...

December 22, 2008
9:01 AM

I’m here on the four hour train ride to Washington DC with only one more hour to go. I had to get up at 3AM even though I ended up falling asleep at midnight. Only three hours of sleep, but here I am on the train. I slept the first two hours. But the sun has rised, and I just have to get up. No internet connection, so I am forced to write this blog on a Word document to later to be posted onto my blog.

I’ve never rode the train before. And I simultaneously love and hate it. I love it because the landscapes you pass by are just beautiful. The countryside always makes me happy. It puts me in a peaceful mood that makes me feel like there isn’t anything to worry about. There isn’t any pollution, traffic, or daily stress. It’s just you and nature. And that feeling quickly disappears when we pull into the next train station. I hate the train because it gives me this weird nostalgic feeling that I know I shouldn’t be feeling having I’ve never rode the train before. And to make it worse, I can’t stop thinking about You, and I’m listening to “Northern Downpour” on repeat. I wonder if Mr. Gentleman and his Lads like to ride the train. I think they would enjoy themselves. I think we would have a good time. For the weird nostalgic feeling, there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I have this expression on my face like I’m on my way to a different life and I’m just preparing myself for something greater…or worse. I can’t tell. And honestly, I’m just going to my cousin’s house to spend Christmas with them. I think I love the train more than I hate it. And sitting here with my computer right by the window makes me feel like a writer looking for inspiration. I like it.

To be honest, I was expecting something like the Hogwarts train or the Polar Express. Instead we got a modern train with reclining chairs and brochures for the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. It’s way too hot on this train. My mother made me layer up like crazy, and now I’m burning up. I French braided my hair to pass about 10 minutes of my time. For the first two hours, I was sleeping hoping to dream of You. Oh yes, thanks a lot. Now that I feel like everything’s falling into place, I’m acting like we’re getting married or something like that. I’m so stupid. You’re just so nice and amazing. I really hope things work out. My heart would greatly appreciate it. And my forced dreams might cease.

Oh great, “Round Here” by Counting Crows just came on shuffle on my iPod. Very nostalgic…you know those songs that you listened to in certain points in your life that you just can’t forget? There are just some songs that remind you of good times and some that remind you of bad times. “Tonight, Tonight” by Smashing Pumpkins came on shuffle last night, and I just had to change the song. I listened to that song nonstop during my darkest days. And I never want to go back to that spot. I’m not saying that that song will make people depressed or something. I’m just saying that it reminds me of a time that I don’t want to be reminded of.

Another train just passed by and it reminded me of “Across the Universe”…

Oh snap! I just got internet connection!!...damn, it was only for like 10 seconds. But I was fast enough to grab a game of tetris!!

Oh, we’re in the city!! I’ll try to find some internet connection at the train station cuz supposedly it’s a good station. Goodbye for now!! <3

10:36 AM

Back on the train, but only for half an hour this time. I’m sitting next to my dear, little brother who called window seat before me. We didn’t get a chance to eat anything at Union Station. And I didn’t find any WiFi at the station. However, I noticed something. Most of the passengers are either old or older. There is the occasional young person just trying to get a nice ride to the city. But other than that, I see old people. Sometimes it’s very sad. I’ve probably seen 3 or 4 old, OLD ladies with tons of bags just wandering around the station trying to find their way. Sometimes there are those old ladies that try to be young. I’ve seen a few. With their leather boots, botx-ed face, glitter eye shadow, bleached blonde hair, and orange “tan” skin, it’s very strange. Age happens to us all. No, let me rephrase that. Time happens to us all. I say this all the time: I hate time and distance more than anything in the world. But there’s nothing you can do about either or both. When I recognize that time has finally reached my age, I’ll just let it happen. That’s why I’m taking the time now to have a healthy body.

Wow, this is a very long blog. I don’t expect anyone to read all of it. Unless, you’re really bored like I am and have nothing better to do. Then you can continue on reading, as I continue on typing…

We’re less than five minutes away from our stop. It’s cute watching my little brother try to read the Radio City Christmas Spectacular brochure. I wish I could go see that show. I want to so bad. I want to be a Rockette so bad, but I’m not tall enough. I’m never tall enough for anything pertaining to the dance world. It pisses me off so much because I work my ass off for some good roles, but I don’t get them because I’m too short. I’ve heard there are growth hormones that some people take just to get taller. But I’m afraid that it’ll fuck up some other important hormones, and that’s not worth anything.


and then the ticket guy told me to close my computer and move up three cars. we were in the wrong car. but yeah, i still want to be a Radio City Rockette sooooo bad. I stared at that brochure for about an hour just wishing I could be one of them. Lame I know...but it's my dreams.

Christmas in 3 days! <333

Saturday, December 20, 2008

i'm still a happy liar.

a happy liar.

well, i said that i wouldn't write a blog today, but i lied. i just feel like there's a lot to say, and i just can't wait. ha. you know me, i'm the one of the most impatient people you will ever meet. like right now, i just can't wait for christmas. i'm just ready for it.
i went to the parent conference thingy today with mr. pedro. i think it went very well. we discussed my current standing point, my goals, the summer, and life after high school. and surprisingly it didn't take over half an hour. but then again, we had limited time since they were scheduled appointments. mr. pedro told me about his plans on sending me and courtney to the arts ballet theatre of florida for the summer. i seriously hope that's where i am going. of course, i'll still audition for other places, but knowing that it's where mr. pedro wants me to go, then i know it's a good school. he told me that he can see the i'm working very hard. it feels so good to hear that from him. he's one of my heroes, and i wouldn't be the dancer i am today without him. so, hearing that he recognizes my passion, my hard work, and my rewards, makes me very happy. he told me what he thought about what i should do after high school. and i'm glad that he agreed with me on VCU because i really want to go there. he also recommended butler. i'll be looking into those schools, but i don't want to worry about that stuff too much. (:

so, i never thought i was so good at macros/lolz:

haha, i personally love it, and think it's good enough to win the contest. what do you think?

yesterday was the last day of school in 2008. it went by so slowly...i don't like jerks. i love my friends. especially my dear friend, hunter, who gave me his old fender that i'm absolutely in love with right now even though it needs some repairs. i love used stuff. i don't know why, but for some reason, i just do. used clothing, used guitars, used CDs...anything that's gently used and you don't want anymore, i'd gladly take it. haha.

you know that feeling when you're happy for a reason, but that reason isn't good enough? but still, you feel like it's so important that it just makes you feel so good all over? yeah, that's how i feel right now. it's a wonderful feeling, for those who haven't felt it yet. and i hate to admit it, but it's all because of a guy. i don't want to go into too much detail about him, but i had the hugest crush on him for a while. we never talked, but i still was crushing hard. then i just gave up, but we started talking and it makes me really giggly. hehe. and i never knew conversation would come to easily between us. hehe. it makes me happy. i can't stop smiling. and my jaw muscles don't hurt quite yet, skippy. (;

i love webcams. they let me talk to my cousins that live all the way in california. i played my guitar for my cousin, aunt, and uncle. my other cousin wasn't there. he's just too cool to talk to me. but that's okay because i know that he's going to be jealous of my guitar skills. (:

i spent most of my sleeping and listening to music. and one more thing that made me smile:

Monday, December 15, 2008

last show.

so last night was the last show of nutcracker. and thank God, i wasn't crying. this year was great. everyone was so supportive, so loving, and just there for me. i love you all.

i never went to the cast party. i had to spend a little quality time with my vocally blessed little sister. and as you can imagine, i ate more than i should've for dinner. what can i say? it's the end of the performance. time to eat!

i'm so stressed this week. i don't think i'll have time to go christmas shopping at all...damnitt. i have no clue what i'm going to do. well, know that i think about it. i think i have a few good ideas. -wink wink-

i'm so ready for the holidays. i can't wait to light the fire and do nothing for hours on end. and i really hope to go to new york again. i love new york. i'm going to live there someday. everything happens in new york. and i think it's the city where dreams come true. screw hollywood. my dreams will come true in new york. i think i'll dylan up on her suggestion of julliard. do you think i could make it into julliard with my short, fat legs? i'll just keep dreaming. it's what gets me through anyways.

i think i'm going to start crying again. i'm so stressed with everything...i just can't take this anymore. there's nothing i hate more in the world than time and distance. there's never enough time for anything. there's just too much distance between everything and everyone. i hate it. i hate everything.

i wish i was homeschooled.
i wish i wasn't a procrastinator.
i wish i could be happy.
i wish my dreams could come true.
i wish Mr. Gentleman could just save me.
i wish Monkey feels better.
i wish i could capitalize "i".
i wish i could please everyone.
i wish i could just get a day off.
i wish i had Mr. Gentleman and his lads instead.

Sunday, December 14, 2008


tonight was just amazing. i love this feeling that i'm feeling. i think it's called loved or confidence or happiness. something along those lines...

i thought my day was going to be terrible when i woke up with a swollen eye. i love stage makeup until it irritates your eyes. but then again, stage makeup fixes everything. and so does keltie. seeing that she replied to me really made me smile. it really made my day. and i think that since she replied, i did quite well tonight. (:

we did a photoshoot before warmup class. the photoshoot was really fun. we did a company picture, and we all looked great. i'm still really confused as to why Foundation was there, but i'm not here to bitch. then i did a few shots in ms. susan's piece. i love that dance. and again Foundation had to ruin it. then i did one final photoshoot with these really pretty costumes. they were black leotards with magenta frilly stuff and a pretty skirt. i loved it. i didn't want to take it off.

and thanks to megan who delivered the secret santa gift to me. that was funny. we were watching "scarlet takes a tumble" backstage, and shortly after i myself took a tumble. haha. it was so funny. megan did a great job with the bag. it looked fantastic. and i think it really was worth the money. hehe. secret santa was fun. courtney had me the whole entire time! sneaky girl...

i totally rocked at spanish chocolate tonight. i'm so proud of myself. that was the best time i've ever done it which made me happy because it was in the public. i think the fact that my headpiece fell out made it so much more fun. haha. i hope the Little Man enjoyed it. i don't know if i should feel guilty or happy that i got a tad bit more of an applause than the sugar plum fairy. for now i'll just feel happy. i can feel bad later. i gave out two autographs tonight. when strangers come to tell me that i was good really makes me feel wonderful. i may get that a lot, but i treat every time like it was the first. when little girls tell me that i was their favorite and that they want a hug or a picture with me...it really is the best feeling in the world.

just a few sidenotes:
-Sunshine is really starting to scare me
-the name chunky peter is just as creepy
-i wish someone called me mick jagger. haha.
-my fatness keeps popping the hooks on the spanish costume
-i am so good at hiding food in the dressing room
-FUB thinks i'm good, so i guess i'm good
-i can hold my breath for a very long time. thanks, dylan.
-i'm cady heron.
-i pretty.much. just love everyone right now
-i know who to go to if i need to do some blackmailing (;

thank you to everyone who has supported me in my dancing career. you mean so much to me. <3>
hehe. i love this. and i love pedro.
except my double chin. ew.
hahaha. i love that girl.
and those fishnets.

Friday, December 12, 2008

school show and holiday pops.

today was the always fantastic school show. DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL!! BOO YAHH!! haha. again this year, the school show was sold out. the kids are great. the school show is probably my favorite just because all the kids love you even if you screw up. don't you wish the whole world was like that? it was strange because they started clapping to their own beat during the sugar plum fairy variation. oh well. that's a first.
then it was a speedy drive over to rehearse for holiday pops. it was overwhelming. with the orchestra and the little dancing space, it sure made an interesting day:
-we are easily entertained with a couple of ipods a few hours to kill.
-mrs. jessee is a fast texter.
-i colored a pig purple.
-i took a nap with my eyes half open.
-eating by the bathroom stalls isn't that disgusting.
-there's no such thing as too much hand sanitizer.
-some old guy made a weird noise during our kickin' kringles dance.
-my butt floss was obvious through my unitard (according to my sister).
-i peed my red leotard.
-and everyone is just breaking down.

i hate it. my dear friend, shannon, wasn't feeling well so we had to accommodate the kickin' kringles dance. then another girl was discovered to be hurting herself. and i can't believe that i even contemplated about that lifestyle. now i really know that it doesn't do anything but hurt you. i prayed with a few other girls, and all the stress and the weight of the world was on me. i just started crying. i couldn't take it. everything was just surrel from that moment on. i just couldn't see such a young, good, sweet dancer like her hurt herself like that. i hate feeling like this. but i tried to focus, and the show went phenomenal. it was absolutely perfect. i must give props to my bitch courtney for being so B.A. for stepping in for violets like that. major props, courtnig!

i'm really excited about tomorrow though. i'm really trying not to worry myself anymore. i have confidence in myself, in my partner, in my friends, and all my dancers. you better be there.

sexy fishnets and spicy chocolate tomorrow. can't wait.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


last dress rehearsal for the week. i keep getting mad at myself. dress rehearsals are just going terrible for me. i don't know to think if that will ascend uphill, or descend to the bottomless pit of shame. i'll just do what i have to do, and of course my little ritual i do before i go onstage.
i'm such a bad little girl for taking pictures in the dressing room. oh well, i made sure there wasn't anyone changing or anything. too bad you can see the stress written on my face and the quick aging under my eyes. i look too old for a 15 year old.

here are a few things i would like to inform people about:
-girls, you do not want a guy with FUBs
-i'm louder and more annoying than you want
-i'm taller than you expect
-and i'm FATTER than you can see (barf.)
-everyone is just blind
-hot tea (without any calories or any sugars) tastes a lot better when you know that you're fat
-great, i really am chinky eyed

see you all kiddies tomorrow morning, bright and early! <3


i crashed last night soaking my feeties. my feet were so swollen, i just needed to stick them in a nice foot spa. too bad i fell asleep in it. is that dangerous?
rehearsal was terrible last night. i'm sorry, but nothing was going well. but i think that's good because then we know we'll do a lot better at the actual performance. pedro held us till 11 to run holiday pops. and apparently i'm a poodle? just because i "perky" my butt up in the holiday pops dance. you should see it. ;)
what i learned yesterday:
-walking around naked with your best friends is one of the funnest things in the world
-i don't know how to talk dirty with a guy
-jet glue makes the tips of your pointe shoes slippery
-that guy isn't as great as i expected him to be (even though he's skinnier than i)
-she seemed nice until she put on her tutu
-mrs. jessee is truly a lifesaver backstage
-i can't keep a white costume clean
-don't strip down to your leotard and tights in front of the stage crew

and i just can't wait to wear fishnet tights tonite. HOT.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


today was ACT I. today was a lot smoother. we actually started on time. and pedro was in a better mood.
i'm such a bad girl because i snuck my camera out of the dressing room and took a few pictures of the stage (in all it's glory).
just a FEW more things to say:
-brian does a golem impression that just makes me smile
-i'm really scared of the orchestra pit
-i love the scenery of the party scene
-i love the new dolls
-i act like a girl (some people don't know that)
-i still don't know my marks for snow
-and i'm a hot mess

Monday, December 08, 2008


today was just ACT II. it went quite well, besides the fact that it's the first night of theatre week, and we're all stressed. there are just a few things i wanna say:
-we're back at the humping chair
-brian leaves bruises on me
-i'm wearing different black pointe shoes
-hearing nutcracker music on the tv gets me really nervous
-and i'm going to die without a camera

Sunday, December 07, 2008


today was the first put-together of CAST A for Nutcracker (tomorrow is CAST B). it was just a crazy day. above is just the senior company's dance bags. you should've seen what mass of junk there was when it was senior AND junior company! we are so messy. the full run through went great. there's nothing i'm too worried about. except my dying pointe shoes. i had to jet glue them today. and i must add that jet glue and 2nd skin are magical. they work wonders on hurting feet.

i seriously cannot wait for Nutcracker. it's going to be so fun! i love being in the theatre. i always treat it like a sacred place. i can't wait to perform on stages for a living. it will be the best feeling in the world to walk onto a different stage every night. the tutus, pointe shoes, lights, and pounds of makeup just make me feel beautiful. like i'm invincible.

holiday pops will be amazing too! i recorded our kickin' kringles dance. it's really sloppy. we were dancing for 11 hours! what else can i say? we're tired. and we are in fuzzy, red, striped costumes and santa hats. yay, christmas time. i'm going to send a link to keltie. i hope she answers. and i hope her injury isn't too bad.

i gamed it up on rockband world tour for the wii tonite. poor kid, his drumset for the game broke cuz us stupid kids are just hardcore gamers. damn.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

all my dreams will come true.

in one week, we'll be in the theatre for nutcracker. i am seriously not ready. well, i don't know. i think i'm just saying that out of nervousness. i've done spanish so many times, so i'm confident in knowing it. it's my first "big role". what do you expect? i'm especially excited for the school performance next friday. the school show is always the best. they're the best audience ever. i love seeing the smiles and the look of awe and amazement on their faces. that's what really makes me do better in a show. holiday pops is also next friday. the kickin' kringles dance that is! i'll try to record our rehearsal of it this saturday or on sunday and post it on YouTube. i'm going to send the link to keltie and see if she actually replies this time. for more of my performance information click here----> http://www.svballet.org/

my mother talked to pedro last night, and he told her the most amazing thing i have heard in ages. i'm currently researching for places i want to go to over the summer for intensives. i'm determined to go to an intensive out of state. pedro told my mom that he wants to send me to his old teacher down in florida. he said i wouldn't have to audition either! he would just make a call, and BOOM! i'm there. my mom said that i really have to start saving up and "being nice to her". i'm always nice to my mother...but my mind is set on florida from now until auditions start! pedro is so supportive of all of us. he's truly one of my heroes. he also said that he will help me with some audition tapes and/or photos that need to be taken. this is going to be a great summer. i can already tell.

i started reading invisible monsters by chuck palahniuk today. well, just the first 3 or 4 pages because i still haven't finished breaking dawn. and i don't know how i'm going to do it. within those 3 or 4 pages, i already can see the influence on Them. i can hear the music and sing the lyrics just by reading the first few pages of the book. and it was poking at that shortly healed soft spot on my heart. but, just like i always have, i'll be putting myself through it all. i have the strength. for Them.

the best thing happened to me yesterday! i got the latest email from AP and look look LOOK what i found:
that seriously made my day. i started tearing up. dear Jon, i love green day so much!! in honor of these great news, i think i'm going to watch my bullet in a bible DVD tonight. hehehehhee. yeah, totally going to watch that instead of doing actual homework.

i have dreams of orca whales and owls. <3