Monday, December 22, 2008

bored on a train.

i got my wish and got a train to nowhere.

not really, just a long and wonderful train ride to maryland. i wrote my blog on the train even though i didn't have internet connection. it's a long read. so whatever...

December 22, 2008
9:01 AM

I’m here on the four hour train ride to Washington DC with only one more hour to go. I had to get up at 3AM even though I ended up falling asleep at midnight. Only three hours of sleep, but here I am on the train. I slept the first two hours. But the sun has rised, and I just have to get up. No internet connection, so I am forced to write this blog on a Word document to later to be posted onto my blog.

I’ve never rode the train before. And I simultaneously love and hate it. I love it because the landscapes you pass by are just beautiful. The countryside always makes me happy. It puts me in a peaceful mood that makes me feel like there isn’t anything to worry about. There isn’t any pollution, traffic, or daily stress. It’s just you and nature. And that feeling quickly disappears when we pull into the next train station. I hate the train because it gives me this weird nostalgic feeling that I know I shouldn’t be feeling having I’ve never rode the train before. And to make it worse, I can’t stop thinking about You, and I’m listening to “Northern Downpour” on repeat. I wonder if Mr. Gentleman and his Lads like to ride the train. I think they would enjoy themselves. I think we would have a good time. For the weird nostalgic feeling, there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I have this expression on my face like I’m on my way to a different life and I’m just preparing myself for something greater…or worse. I can’t tell. And honestly, I’m just going to my cousin’s house to spend Christmas with them. I think I love the train more than I hate it. And sitting here with my computer right by the window makes me feel like a writer looking for inspiration. I like it.

To be honest, I was expecting something like the Hogwarts train or the Polar Express. Instead we got a modern train with reclining chairs and brochures for the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. It’s way too hot on this train. My mother made me layer up like crazy, and now I’m burning up. I French braided my hair to pass about 10 minutes of my time. For the first two hours, I was sleeping hoping to dream of You. Oh yes, thanks a lot. Now that I feel like everything’s falling into place, I’m acting like we’re getting married or something like that. I’m so stupid. You’re just so nice and amazing. I really hope things work out. My heart would greatly appreciate it. And my forced dreams might cease.

Oh great, “Round Here” by Counting Crows just came on shuffle on my iPod. Very nostalgic…you know those songs that you listened to in certain points in your life that you just can’t forget? There are just some songs that remind you of good times and some that remind you of bad times. “Tonight, Tonight” by Smashing Pumpkins came on shuffle last night, and I just had to change the song. I listened to that song nonstop during my darkest days. And I never want to go back to that spot. I’m not saying that that song will make people depressed or something. I’m just saying that it reminds me of a time that I don’t want to be reminded of.

Another train just passed by and it reminded me of “Across the Universe”…

Oh snap! I just got internet connection!!...damn, it was only for like 10 seconds. But I was fast enough to grab a game of tetris!!

Oh, we’re in the city!! I’ll try to find some internet connection at the train station cuz supposedly it’s a good station. Goodbye for now!! <3


10:36 AM

Back on the train, but only for half an hour this time. I’m sitting next to my dear, little brother who called window seat before me. We didn’t get a chance to eat anything at Union Station. And I didn’t find any WiFi at the station. However, I noticed something. Most of the passengers are either old or older. There is the occasional young person just trying to get a nice ride to the city. But other than that, I see old people. Sometimes it’s very sad. I’ve probably seen 3 or 4 old, OLD ladies with tons of bags just wandering around the station trying to find their way. Sometimes there are those old ladies that try to be young. I’ve seen a few. With their leather boots, botx-ed face, glitter eye shadow, bleached blonde hair, and orange “tan” skin, it’s very strange. Age happens to us all. No, let me rephrase that. Time happens to us all. I say this all the time: I hate time and distance more than anything in the world. But there’s nothing you can do about either or both. When I recognize that time has finally reached my age, I’ll just let it happen. That’s why I’m taking the time now to have a healthy body.

Wow, this is a very long blog. I don’t expect anyone to read all of it. Unless, you’re really bored like I am and have nothing better to do. Then you can continue on reading, as I continue on typing…

We’re less than five minutes away from our stop. It’s cute watching my little brother try to read the Radio City Christmas Spectacular brochure. I wish I could go see that show. I want to so bad. I want to be a Rockette so bad, but I’m not tall enough. I’m never tall enough for anything pertaining to the dance world. It pisses me off so much because I work my ass off for some good roles, but I don’t get them because I’m too short. I’ve heard there are growth hormones that some people take just to get taller. But I’m afraid that it’ll fuck up some other important hormones, and that’s not worth anything.

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and then the ticket guy told me to close my computer and move up three cars. we were in the wrong car. but yeah, i still want to be a Radio City Rockette sooooo bad. I stared at that brochure for about an hour just wishing I could be one of them. Lame I know...but it's my dreams.

Christmas in 3 days! <333

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