Finally, we came back home, took a 10 minute power nap, ate some noodles, and were on our way to the audition. I had a terrible headache, so I wasn't sure if I was going to last through the audition but I did. And, it didn't go well at all...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
And for once, I'm very upset that I am.
I usually can't wait to leave this bitch town, but this time, I just wish, this ONE TIME, that I could stay here. Thanks to You, I want to skip out on the trip upstate to be with You. Don't feel bad or anything...You're just amazing, and things are just getting screwed up a little now. And now I feel so so so so SOOO stupid for being in such a bad mood for practically nothing. But I'm just afraid that this "little" thing is going to make things even worse. I just kept thinking about how perfect things were...I guess I shouldn't call it perfect anymore.
It's so funny how things were so perfect just about a week ago, and now they're going a bit downhill. I'm still hoping and wishing that things will pick back up to speed.
Today I realized (with my flare jeans and all, which btw no one noticed) that the books that I have recently been reading have been somehow corresponding to my life.
I don't want to give any names or anything, but for example...
I started reading Nick and Norah's... today, and next thing I know, I was invited to go to a show tomorrow in a sketchy part of town. How strange! I love how things just end up that way, and then I started fantasizing how it could be absolutely perfect...
But then I find out I'm leaving tomorrow night! I thought we weren't leaving 'till Saturday morning...
Even bits and pieces of movies are starting to match up with my life. I don't think I want to go into detail with that one, but you get the idea.
Has anything brilliantly strange like this happened to you?
So, I totally, like, really need this shirt:
Staying home > epically failing,
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Who am I kidding? Is it even possible for someone to be happy this long? I don't want to force myself to not be happy, but I feel like I'm annoying everyone around me. It seems like there aren't enough people that I can tell...so, I apologize if I intensely annoyed the crap out of you!
...I mean I felt ridiculous waiting for him. I waited for about an hour or two just to have a couple of lines of conversation with him...I need to stop complaining and annoying you all!
I'm doing this experiment...
Tomorrow I'm going to wear flare jeans. If I find them.
I haven't worn flare jeans since 8th grade!! I really want to see if anyone notices. Well, if you read this obviously you're going to notice, but hopefully you'll forget! I've worn skinny jeans for the longest time, so we'll see who actually pays attention...
I finished Snuff today. No matter how vulgar and disgusting it got at times, I loved it. It was pure brilliance. Chuck P. never fails to amaze me. His novels are always humorous and just fantastic. Tomorrow I'm starting Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. I'm really excited to start that one. I need to return Survivor along with Snuff to the library with my "Reinvent Love" cards in them to continue to spread the lovelovelove. And I might check out Tropic of Cancer while I'm there...I'm not quite sure what book to check out next.
I'm so nervous for this weekend!! Saturday is my audition for North Carolina Dance Theatre, and on Sunday is the ABT audition. I'm more nervous for the ABT audition...I mean, IT'S ABT! Who wouldn't be nervous? I'm kind of upset that I'm going to be missing Superbowl. Actually, I'm very upset that I'm missing Superbowl this Sunday. I'm going to miss a good game, great commercials, yummy food, and (possibly) a good half-time show. Only ABT would schedule an audition on Superbowl Sunday. Ridiculous bunheads...
I've been practicing my british accent all night, and I think I've gotten it back!! I looked very strange...doing my evening work out while saying random things in a british accent. I was talking to myself, him, and an imaginary friend I had created at the moment named Mozy. I hope I sound okay tomorrow...Haha.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Yesterday Tyrone Brooks took over our ballet class. I love it when Mr. Brooks teaches our classes. He's just so artistic, and I think he brings out the best in everyone. He's that kind of teacher that looks for artists instead of students. He's the executive director of the Virginia School of the Arts. Fantastic teacher. I'm so glad that he can come and teach us like this on such short notice.
These past few days have been leaving me smiling all day long. I just can't help it!! And I know I sound annoying, but I just want the world to know how happy I am and how happy everyone else can get!! It's a fantastic feeling, happiness and love and friendship. I'm so glad that I can experience it all!!
I'm hoping that we don't have school again tomorrow because maybe I can talk to You all day again. Haha, I hope I'm not annoying you...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Great weather is always followed by bad weather.
I just didn't expect it to come this soon. Yesterday was just so great for me, and then today was just a total EPIC FAIL! I just think that I have a lot of days to make up for being so happy all the time with a completely (well, not completely) bad day...
Today was the Washington Ballet audition. So I woke up at 6:15 to take a shower because I had to meet Courtney and Maria at the Blockbuster by my house. I woke up with a swollen eye due to the crazy makeup that I had to wear yesterday! This happens almost every time! Hopefully when I do this for a living my eyes will get used to the chemical crap the makeup is made of. So I brought a huge ice bag on the trip. So I was already cranky from an early morning, DMS, and a swollen eye.
Then we go to meet up with Courtney's aunt and uncle, so I start changing for the audition...
AND I FREAKING FORGOT A LEOTARD!
How the hell do I forget a leotard for a ballet audition? The problem is I seriously thought I had one in my ballet bag (which was a jungle until I cleaned it out about 10 minutes ago). I felt terrible because Mama Hood and her sister ran around town looking for places that could possibly have a leotard for me. And of course, everything just has to be closed on Sundays!! Geez, how convenient! So I still registered and everything just in case I got lucky. I even had to ask some random girls if they had a leotard. I felt so terrible!! (Oh, and I still kinda felt like crap.) But I had to return my number back to the registration table and get my money back. I never thought I was this stupid.
At least I got out to eat my feelings at a great Tex-Mex restaraunt across the street and get "dessert" at Starbucks. Just to let you know, there are like 10 Starbucks every 3 blocks. It's fantastic! Courtney's aunt and uncle are so sweet, and they're puppy and kitties are just precious. I'll be going back up there this weekend.
And this time, I'll be bringing about 10 different leotards with me just in case I forget one.
The only thing that didn't make my day completely terrible is what I found out today...I don't want to screw this up, so I won't say too much...but all I can say is that: Yes, it is about that guy that I really like.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Have you ever been so happy that your cheeks started hurting from smiling so much?
I've felt this way all day long. I don't want to make me seem so immature, but I am so giggly and happy! There's nothing else to say! I just don't think that I'll ever feel this happy about anything or anyone, for that matter, ever again.
I had the greatest time with Courtney and Maria last night. Maria's dog is so precious. My little baby brother. Although, a few minutes after we took these pictures, my camera broke. Completely broken. It won't turn on or anything. Honestly, it's about time! I've had that camera since 8th grade!! I've dropped it so many times, no wonder it just decided to die. It was a party last night at Maria's house. So so so fun. And it's only because Courtney and I were there.
And the rest of the day was just splendid. I had a nice cup of iced caramel latte from M.M. Coffee. The best in town. And I shared that coffee with one of my good friends. We had a great time.
Now I'm preparing for my audition for the Washington Ballet audition tomorrow. I took my headshot's yesterday, and I've already printed off my arabesque picture. I'm really nervous, but I'll just remember who I felt today to make myself feel better. (:
And just a few things I'd like to say:
-I worry too much.
-Boys, boys, boys...
-Wow, those were weird tampons...
-You only experience the best moments in your life with your best friends.
-DO NOT wear lip gloss when you're dancing with your hair down.
-I'd say that three minutes was the fastest quick change that I've ever done.
-Dancing so close to the audience is honestly better than not seeing an audience at all.
-Girls, remember when I told you to never let go of that guy you will always like? I have proof that that boy will come around. (;
-I seriously love my calves.
-Eye contact is key in a good conversation.
-There's no such thing as smiling too much.
-I'm too famous to walk out through the front of a venue...
-...but I'm not famous enough to be recognized in a coffee shop.
Thank you so much for all those who came out today! You mean the world to me and the company! Keep supporting us! Thank you, thank you, thank you again!!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
When the world is treating you fairly, you just can't help but smile. I think I'm smiling to big, but I think I'm just making up for the rest of you out there that need smiles.
I still can't believe this is happening to me, but I think this is karma. Pure and all-good karma. I am so happy. I just can't wait for everything to be...dare I say? Perfect?
Have you ever wondered how bad your life would be if you had never met certain people and how amazing your life would be if you had never met the others? I think about that too often. I am so thankful for all the friends and people that I've gotten to know lately. You all know who you are. Thank you.
Then there are the others that I wouldn't mind living without...you don't know who you are.
This weekend is going to be beast!! I am so excited.
And if you didn't know, museum members get 50% off admission to the show!!
Hanging with Maria, Courtney, and Maria's new puppy, Kona, tomorrow!! It's going to fantastic.
PEANUT BUTTER OREOS=tradition.
See you all this weekend!!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
That sounds splendid.
Yesterday was a nice day for me. Just laid around all day doing nothing until I had to get ready for dance. Then dance class was interesting. There were only 3 guys at partnering which wasn't very fun, but we adapted. My pointe shoes are now dead, which is not good at all because I need them for Sunday's audition (for Washington Ballet). I don't know what I'm going to do. I could always Jet Glue them. Let me tell you, Jet Glue is magical. And so is 2nd skin. I practically owe my life to both of those products.
Today seemed promising with the wonderful inauguration and such. I got my new schedule and recommendation form. Thank goodness I was recommended for College Bound English. I seriously don't think I could last in AP. I was already struggling with Pre-AP this year. This year has definitely been really tough on me. Reality check? I think so...
Here's my latest video I'd like to share with you, kids. It's the solo I've been ranting about for the past two weeks or so. I'm very proud of it and totally stoked to perform it this weekend!! See you there!!
"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." --Barack Obama
PS/Edit: I finished Survivor on the trip up to Richmond on Sunday. It was a fantastic book, very entertaining. My dad thought it would be morbid for me to read...It most certainly wasn't. Very good book. -puts check next to Survivor-
I've started Snuff, and it's very very very very very explicit. I have a feeling it wasn't meant for my audience...
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Today was the last day of exams!! Yay!! Finally done. I think I did pretty.well. on all of my midterms this year. This year was definitely harder, but that's just a given. Next week I start Driver's Ed and Dance and Aerobics!! Haha, I'll pass Dance so easily, it's not even funny.
I love the cold weather, but I hate that it's so cold! I don't know, it's just that I'm always cold as it is, and the weather just makes it worse! Gosh, I complain too much...but I really hope we get some snow soon!! It's so cold, we've GOT to get some flakes!! Let it snow!!
My mom finally got some good clementines. The last batch she bought were really bad. They were all soft and squishy, not my ideal clementine. I've been eating them all night!! So yummy!! So juicy!!
We're making the final preparations for the audition on Sunday. Mama Hood is giving us a ride up there, and it's just going to be so much fun!! The next audition is for Joffrey, but it's on the 24th (which is the museum performance), so that one isn't happening. I'm really nervous for this Sunday, but I'll just be myself and work my hardest! Hehe, this is so exciting!!
I'm almost done reading Survivor. I don't know why I haven't finished it today. I had enough time to finish it, too! I only have 9 chapters left...oh well, I'll wake up early tomorrow to finish it, so after I can start Snuff! Like I said, Chuck P. books=NEW OBSESSION. lol.
I need to find my fuzzy socks,
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Exams began yesterday. I took the Biology exam yesterday, and I'm not too happy with my grade. I'm really bummed because I studied really hard, and I got a C...but I'm trying not to worry so much. I took the Spanish and English exams today. There was a little mishap with the Spanish exam, there were really 100 questions, and I had only filled out 75. My exam didn't show the last 25 questions, so thank goodness I'll be able to fix that one tomorrow.
I'm continuing my physical therapy tomorrow. I'm not really getting into this, but I need this. Twice a week sounds so terrible, but I guess the more often I go, the sooner it will get better.
Today I started reading Survivor, and so far I think it's great! And I think this is the beginning of an obsession with Chuck P. books. Haha, you know me, always have to obsessed with something. I also checked out Snuff today, and I'm surprised the library lady didn't look at me weird. The book is covered in pictures of sex positions. Oh well, I'm still stoked to read it. Today was also the beginning of my job to reinvent love. I wrote "reinvent love" really pretty and big on a piece of paper and slipped it into a random page in Fight Club. It is the beginning of the movement of reinventing love. I am on the Reinvent Love Street Team, and that is our job. You should join us!
Riding around with Dylan today was so fun. I need more days like that; just out with my friends. Close friends. She's leaving for Indiana to do her audition for Butler University. We all wish her luck!
This weekend I begin my auditions for summer intensives. This Sunday is an audition for Atlanta Ballet, I believe, and it's in Richmond. I'm really excited to get ready for these auditions and such. Which reminds me, I really need to pick up my pointe shoes tomorrow!!
Tomorrow is going to be an easy day for me. Study Hall "exam" and Health exam (we get all the answers anways...).
I dropped a line over on Cash Cooligan's Myspace. He replied which made me smile. I think that all the boys of The Cab are really sweet and really care about the fans. Those guys are fantastic, and Alex has nice biceps. (:
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Yesterday I started my physical therapy for my back problems. They did this thing called electrical stimulation. I just want to let you know, it feels amazing. At first it sounded really freaky. Like, I thought I was gonna get shocked, but it just tingles and feels amazing. I get that twice a week, so that makes me very happy.
I got to run my solo last night, and Pedro loved it. I'm so glad that he likes it. It's so tiring! I'm so glad that I have a lot of room to run because my whole solo is like that. You guys better come to the show!! You definitely don't want to miss my solo!
I finished Fight Club today, and I thought it was amazing. Absolutely fantastic. I adore Chuck P.'s writing style. He's truly an amazing author. I was a bit confused about the ending of the book though. I read it over a few times, and I was informed that Jack was actually in the hospital, not dead in heaven. That cleared a few things up for me. When I first read the ending, I thought he killed himself, and I got really mad. But now knowing that he's just in the hospital, that makes me feel better. Haha. I want to watch the movie really bad now because I heard that it's quite faithful to the book and quite rad. I'm looking forward to scenes like this with Brad Pitt with his shirt off. Yummy. I'm starting Survivor tomorrow. I have a whole list of books to read now. Good thing I finally got a library card.
Must Read List
-Catcher in the Rye
-Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
-Brave New World
There are probably a few more, but those are definitely on the top. Thanks for all who recommended the books. The first eight are all Chuck P. books. What more can I say? He's just stellar.
P.S. I always try to decipher what you're really trying to say to me. And I hope I'm not taking this the wrong way, but I'm getting really excited. Should I be? I think so...(:
Saturday, January 10, 2009
-I ate about half a bag of mini chocolate bars. Thanks, Pedro.
-I had a good turning day.
-I realized how jealous I am of people with big enough houses to put a dance studio in it.
-my sister REALLY grossed me out.
-I feel extremely...never mind...
-is the second Slutty Sleepover!!
-You made me smile for the rest of day. Thank You so much.
Here's what's going in the program for my solo:
In Memory of Gordon
Music: "Remember When It Rained" by Josh Groban
I was inspired to create this piece from my grandfather passing away. The significant changes in the music reflect my discovery of bridging the gap between death and moving on in life.
PS/Edit: Mr. Gentleman, my friend, you are so brilliant. I just can never get enough of you! Your quirkiness that I love. I love your quirk. You're subconsciously profound...or maybe I'm just in love to the point where everything that comes out of your mouth sounds like the most beautiful thing in the world.
In response to:
"You feel kinda trapped in there sometimes."
I freaking love you. <333
Thursday, January 08, 2009
#1. After a heart breaking morning, it was hard for me to keep going on through the day. I satisfied myself by talking about Invisible Monsters and showing off that I can solve the Rubik's Cube (I guess it really is cool to be able to solve it.).
#2. Studying for exams is going better than I expected. I haven't had a mental breakdown yet, so that is a very good sign.
#3. And through the crappy day I had, somehow You instantly made it better by smiling. (:
#4. My daddy sure knows how to make me feel better. He drove me out to the library to get a library card and to check out Fight Club and Survivor. I love my daddy! Those two books are the next on my Chuck Palahniuk book list and also a part of my mission to Reinvent Love. After I'm done reading the books, I'm going to write "Reinvent Love" on some paper and stick them in the books. The next person to open the books will be part of the movement.
#5. I'm finally getting my audition list for summer programs ready. I'm so excited to be on the road with my best friends and trying out for some of the best companies in the nation. The first audition we're looking into is for North Carolina School of the Arts. The audition takes place in D.C., and I just can't wait to be on that open road with my best friends! It's going to be crazy, and Mama is going to want to kick us all out of the car.
#6. I've been asked to perform a solo at the museum performance this month!! This is a great opportunity for me, and it was handed to me by my wonderful ballet director. He makes dreams come true. I'm so excited to prepare this piece for the public. It is of my own choroegraphy and such a meaningful dance to me. It's to the song "Remember When It Rained" by Josh Groban. I need to review my original choreography and maybe modify a few steps...but you'll have to see it for yourself!!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Give me a voice.
Give me You.
Last night was interesting. I came home from dance still sore and tired as ever. After dinner, I sat in the den with my cup of hot tea, and I was snuggled in my Spongebob blanket reading Invisible Monsters. I only had a few pages left, and I was determined to finish the book last night. But I fell asleep. My eyes were so heavy, and I fell asleep only at 11 o' clock. I woke up at 3AM on the couch and my book on the floor. I dragged myself upstairs with my book still determined to finish it but still failed to stay awake. I woke up so angry at myself that I didn't finish it. So, I brought it on the bus and only had about five pages left by the time I got to school!! I just had to finish it, so I read it during first period: Spanish. I finished it and just smiled at one of the best books in the world. The book is really amazing. So deep, so contradicting it makes so much sense...
But I think I was meant to finish the book today. I finished it in 1st period, and it made me think about it all day and contemplate it. And I think that was the reason I was meant to finish it today. Thinking about it all day made me seem so reserved.
Give me solemnity.
Give me depression.
I hate being so quiet all the time. It's because I think ALL THE TIME. It bothers me, and it bothers the people around me. I think that's my true New Year's Resolution: Be more confident in myself. Not for my friends. Not for boys. For Myself.
And I've discovered that strong wind blowing through the tall trees is one of the scariest sounds in the world. Haha.
"Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you."
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
I loved this performance, Festival In The Park. Great crowd, nice weather, interesting people, great stage. It was my first performance outside, and it definitely was a great experience. I can't wait to do it again this year!! PS, I'm the one with the sexy leg in the air and lying on her back. (;
So today was back in school, and we're starting to review for our midtern exams. I hate exams. Actually, I just hate school in general. A couple of my friends were talking about being home schooled next year, and I really want to be homeschooled. School is just so stressful and being homeschooled just seems so much easier. Also, you have more time on your hands to do what you want to do, and that sounds splendid. But the teachers are really piling on the homework and all the reviews. I'll be busy all this week and next week, but I'll try to fit in a couple of blogs here and there to try to update you guys. Definitely posting a blog on Saturday though. More people will be at rehearsal, so we'll be able to learn more of the dances planned for the museum performance.
I think I'll just list the rest of the things I want to say...
-my mom failed at getting me an appointment for physical therapy, so I missed Twilight Club
-when I watch that girl dance, it makes me want to shoot myself, make that those two girls
-give a group of boys a few instruments and auto tune=FUN
-I'm going back to my terrible eating habits
-YES! THAT'S THE ANSWER!!
-I'm falling back in love with reading
-And I'm falling back in love with You
-Vwls r vrrtd
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Oh wow, no braces and tiny as ever!