Wednesday, January 07, 2009

sɹǝʇsuoɯ ǝןqısıʌuı

Give me friendship.
Give me a voice.
Give me You.

Last night was interesting. I came home from dance still sore and tired as ever. After dinner, I sat in the den with my cup of hot tea, and I was snuggled in my Spongebob blanket reading Invisible Monsters. I only had a few pages left, and I was determined to finish the book last night. But I fell asleep. My eyes were so heavy, and I fell asleep only at 11 o' clock. I woke up at 3AM on the couch and my book on the floor. I dragged myself upstairs with my book still determined to finish it but still failed to stay awake. I woke up so angry at myself that I didn't finish it. So, I brought it on the bus and only had about five pages left by the time I got to school!! I just had to finish it, so I read it during first period: Spanish. I finished it and just smiled at one of the best books in the world. The book is really amazing. So deep, so contradicting it makes so much sense...
But I think I was meant to finish the book today. I finished it in 1st period, and it made me think about it all day and contemplate it. And I think that was the reason I was meant to finish it today. Thinking about it all day made me seem so reserved.

Give me solemnity.
Give me depression.

I hate being so quiet all the time. It's because I think ALL THE TIME. It bothers me, and it bothers the people around me. I think that's my true New Year's Resolution: Be more confident in myself. Not for my friends. Not for boys. For Myself.

And I've discovered that strong wind blowing through the tall trees is one of the scariest sounds in the world. Haha.

"Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you."

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