Saturday, February 28, 2009

who are you?

Last night, I had too much fun without having real fun at all.
I don't like being ridiculed, and last night was just the worst I've ever felt.
I was feeling good, and at the same time, I wasn't feeling very good at all.
The feeling I had last night was just something that I didn't expect, and I don't think that I ever want to do that again.
Never again...

Rehearsal today was just magnificent. I SERIOUSLY know Poppies now. I can do it without frantically looking over to my alternate which I'm really happy about. Then, I've learned the variation from Spring, Sprang, Sprung. Even though I'm just an understudy, I love the piece. It's so wonderful and beautiful in different ways. I wish I could really do it...but it's really meant for the Seniors.
My variation went well, and I actually got a triple pirouette in there!! My shoes are so freaking dead!! My little feeties hurt so bad, and I don't have new ones for a while. So, for tomorrow I'm just going to have to deal with them...toe tape and jet glue to the rescue!!
And facial masks to the rescue!! Acne is so icky, but I love the tingle of this face mask.
Tomorrow would be the scholarship audition I was telling you all about...and no, I'm still not done with my contemporary dance to "Never Think". Oops...well, here's a secret I have to tell you: last year, I completely improvised my contemporary dance for the audition. All of it. And I still think I did well, but I'm still not sure if I want to improvise tomorrow. I have a lot of good ideas to add in.
And this handsome young man right here is Juan José Ballesta. So hot. I always said that I have a thing for British boys, but now I think it's just foreign boys in general. I don't really care for American boys anymore...I need the ones with the hotter looks and the sexy accents.
Get me a foreign boy,
P.S. Ben Susak is my favorite dancer all over again. I adore this dance with a passion. I want to do it so bad...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

this is my life.

I went into the studio today to choreograph my contemporary piece for the scholarship audition on Sunday...and I loved it. Just me and the studio. My feet and that dancefloor. My body and that music. It was just perfect. It needs to be like that more often. I didn't even wear a leotard and tights; just soffe shorts + long sleeved shirt + socks. And I actually wish that I could do the dance like that; in just shorts and socks. Standing in front of that mirror making sure that all my movements are as graceful as I visioned. This is my life. This is what I'll wake up everday wanting and having to do for the rest of my life. And I love it.
The choreography is going great. I'm practically halfway done, and it won't take me as long to create the rest of it. I love what I have so far, and I wish I still had a camera to record it on and post on my YouTube. Maybe I could ask to borrow one...

Will someone please buy me my own studio? I will love you forever.

-So far, no sweets is going far.
-I really need to stop. I don't need this right now...I need to let go of the past and just move on.
-Walking through the parking lot with my sweatpants down to my ankles definitely defines me as a gangster. Don't mess with me.
-I will never find better friends in my whole entire life.
-You don't want me.
-I'm so good at the game.

I love my life,

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


This be the blue goo that I use to relieve my strange shin problems lately. I don't know...some tendon in my shin has been bothering me for the past few weeks or so. I thought it would go away, but I guess not. I'm being very careful about it, making sure to stretch it out and put some of this burning blue goo on it. It works wonders.

I think I finally convinced my mother on letting me go to a chiropractor!! I'm really happy; I feel like I really need this. My piano teacher's husband is a chiropractor, so she hooked us up with all his info to make it especially easier for us.

So, today if Fat Tuesday, or more commonly known as Mardi Gras. I totally forgot it was Mardi Gras until I got to school seeing everyone with Mardi Gras beads around their necks and such...but I think I took the whole Fat thing to a different level. I ate so much food today, I seriously don't want to let that happen to me ever again. That was just terrible...Courtney and I went to Mac and Bob's to share an order of chessy fries. Then, we started walking towards Starbucks, but that was waywayway too far and waywayway too cold outside to keep walking. So, we ended up just turning around and going to M.M. Coffee which is almost as good. We split a Raspberry Milkshake which as absolutely delicious, but still I feel huge. No dinner for me!! I had just way too much tonight.
And, for this Easter season, I'm giving up sweets and possibly soda. Starting tomorrow, no more sweets. Goodbye ice cream, goodbye cheesecake, goodbye cupcakes!!

But just to make it worse than feeling as heavy as a couple of elephants, I had to run my variation tonight!! It wasn't too terrible, but I still didn't feel like it was very good. I really think it had to do with the fact that I just ate too much before class tonight. It totally correlates. But tomorrow, I'm going into the studio to practice my contemporary piece, and thanks to my mother, she didn't change the name of my dance on my application so I'm going to have to do it to "Never Think". Remember when I said that "Northern Downpour" was my original choice, I changed the title of my dance to "The One Who Never Yawns", but I never found white-out to give to my mother in time for her to change it to get it mailed in on time. And I had written "Never Think" on it, and I'm afraid the judges are going to ask about that, so I'm just going to have to go with R. Patz this time. I still love that song, so it shouldn't be too difficult to deal with.

This blue goo burns,

Sunday, February 22, 2009

how immature.

I'm feeling huge after all the food I ate today. I think I'm going to do extra sit-ups tonight!!

I spent about an hour, or maybe even two, messing around with my webcam. I hardly go on the desktop at home, but I did today, so I just played around a bit. I made my Friend-iversary video for Jem even though our Friend-iversary isn't until March 07. Like I said, I was just playing around with the webcam. Teehee.
The Scholarship audition is a week from today, and my variation seems wonderful. I still need to work on my contemporary piece, so maybe that should be my number one priority this week...I'm really excited because I feel confident with what I have to present this year.

So, I just found out today that "Sophomore" is spelled with an "o"...yes, I've been going around thinking it was spelled "sophmore". Wow, I'm retarded...I'm a sophomore, and I didn't even know how to spell it! How depressing...


Saturday, February 21, 2009

The pursued, rather than pursue.

I've been really into horoscopes lately. They're so accurate and interesting, and yes, I believe horoscopes are real. I am a Libra. The balance in life. I seek balance, but I'm very laid back and a complete romantic. My "lovecast" for the next couple of days says that my love life will heat up (as the weather gets really cold). And I really hope this is true...I mean, was it just a coincidence that he asked me to hang out tomorrow (even though now he can't)? I think not...What do you all think of horoscopes?

Today's rehearsal was spectacular. I think I finally know Poppies instead of pretending like I do. I also learned the opening of Spring, Sprang, Sprung. I really like it, and I just wish my pointe shoes weren't so dead because my feeties are hurting...
Despite my extremely dead pointe shoes, I got to do my Le Corsaire variation today on pointe for the first time. But of course, I cheated a bit and put some Jet Glue a few minutes before...I absolutely love my variation!! And I'm so glad that I have an amazing director, Pedro Szalay, to help me out with every little detail.
I really need to order new pointe shoes. They don't have my size in stock at the local dance store. Thank goodness for Discount Dance!

I really wanted to watch Moulin Rouge! last night, but my father didn't feel like going to Blockbuster. Welp, I love that movie so much, and it's seriously been years since I've seen it. I really need my license, so I could drive myself out to Blockbuster and get it myself!!

I got my letter from Richmond Ballet today, and I got a scholarship!! I'm so happy. I got myself into Level C and they've offered a 25% scholarship. Now that I know I could probably stay with Maria's aunt instead of paying so much for the hotel, maybe Richmond is my best option! I'm done with auditions and done with waiting for acceptance letters/emails. Now I just need to choose one!

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo,

Thursday, February 19, 2009

If I only had a brain,

My lovely girls are modeling the tutus we will be wearing as the "Emerald City" in our production of The Wizard of Oz with the Dance Centre of SW VA. And there I am modeling the crown...too bad I had it on the wrong way!! But I'm pretty sure, the girls don't have their costumes on completely correct either.

I learned my dance as the Scarecrow, and I surprisingly enjoy it. I get to bring back a bunch of a la second turns since I'm playing a boy! Back to memories of Nutcracker 2007...hehe. I also get to a couple of splits which always makes me happy because I get to show off. The only problem is that I'm not actually attached to a nifty stand like real scarecrows are; I'm just standing there pretending I'm attached to a nifty stand. So, I'm standing there with my arms dangling like a doll for about 2 minutes before I actually start dancing! I really need to build up some arm muscle for that. The arm workouts we're doing in modern + a few weight lifting exercises, I should be good!

I've been struggling to figure out what to do about You. And I still haven't made up my mind...I thought I came to a decision last night or today. But then you texted me, and we did a little more talking and what do you know...I'm stuck thinking again. You guys should know by know that I think way too much, and I'm going insane!!

Plans with Abby, Courtney, and MC + rehearsals Saturday + working out Sunday= one amazing weekend. Knock on wood.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bee Tee Dubs,

It is Billie Joe Armstrong's birthday.
Billie is truly one amazing man, and I he once meant the world to me.
Happy Birthday, man.

And the Private Performance was tonight at the Taubman Museum. A little out of the blue, but otherwise went great. Not smoothly, but definitely great. Ate about half a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and showed off my magic card tricks. I'm so talented. The show was pretty frantic backstage, as most museum performances do, but like I said, it was a great show.

Maybe it's all these bobbypins that are making my head hurt not what I'm thinking about...

Monday, February 16, 2009

I be ill.

I'm bed ridden with pink eye, the dizzies, and heartbreak.

I feel so distraught right now...I have my eye drops, my ice bag, my iPod, and my phone to relieve me of my boredom and illness. But this heartbreak is something you won't understand. I feel so out of place saying that my heart is broken when I know hers is probably shattered. My dear, if you're reading this, I'm here for you and I'm sending all my love to you.
Yesterday was my last day in Richmond, and I woke up with a bit of pink eye thanks to my sister. She had it all last week, and I guess I got it. But I still got ready to go watch "Cinderella" by the Richmond Ballet. I just wore my sunglasses that I bought yesterday at Charlotte Russe. I was so excited that I bought them, I didn't think I would wear them so quickly and for so long. I wore them all day long but took them off when we were watching the ballet.
The show was absolutely brilliant. So beautiful. It was really cool to know many of those spectacular dancers onstage. It was kind of hard to watch with my eyes full of gunk and the feeling that I might pass out at any moment, but I still watched it. The scenery and costuming was almost as beautiful as the dancing.

So here's what I looked like all of yesterday:

REINVENT LOVE (you need it, kc),

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Happy Valentine's Day, folks!! I hope you all had a wonderful day with your significant other for those who have one, or if you don't, I hope you spread the love with your friends!! This picture of my hand here is just to show you guys how A.D.D. I am. Those are Junior Mints!!

I had a wonderful day yesterday for my fake Valentine's Day. I gots a lot of candies and cupcakes which made me very happy. To make it even better, it was Hug a Short Person Day!! So I got a buncha extra hugs because I'm short. I handed out my special valentines and my yummy chocolates, but I think the best gift I gave out was Jordan's card. Haha. I loved making it, and I loved handing it to him.

But I think the best part of yesterday was going to the movies with Jordan. We went to the Grandin Theatre (which I absolutely love now!!) and watched "Slumdog Millionaire". That movie is seriously amazing!! It really deserves all the hype. Go watch it! Then we walked over to Pops and had a couple of milkshakes. That place is spectacular too!! Wow, yesterday was just an amazing day!!

Then today, the real Valentine's Day, was really fun too. We left at around 10am to go to the Richmond audition. On the way, we stopped at McDonalds and did the "Single Ladies" dance in the parking lot. Then, about an hour later, we stopped at Sheetz and did a dance to "Low" in the parking lot. We took videos, but I'm not sure where to upload them. Then before the audition we met up with our really good friend, Aaron, and he gave us some tips on the teacher for the audition. We get to see him tomorrow at Richmond Ballet's production of "Cinderella". I'm so excited!
The audition went veryveryvery well, and I'm really pleased with how I did. I really hope I get into a higher level. I'm just really happy with my performance today, and I think that Courtney and Maria did very well too.

We then went to Qdoba Mexican Grill which is amazing!! Like OH MY GOSH, wayyyy better than Taco Bell by a bizillion! Go there! Then we went to the mall. We almost got kicked out of Pac Sun!! So we let ourselves (3 of us) into a dressing room (by crawling under the door because you need a key) to try on some cute dresses, and a saleslady came by and yelled at as. She was like, "Only one person per dressing room!! You guys really need to get out of there..."
So, we were struggling to get dressed again, and she just kept yelling at us. She even threatened to call security on us!! It was ridiculous!! We were really freaking out, but she needed to realize she was yelling at us when we were halfway dressed!! It was really funny at the same time though. I ended up buying a pair of sunglasses from Charlotte Russe, and I adore them. I'll take a picture to show you guys!! This picture of me and Courtney is in Charlotte Russe sporting some of those fashionable shutter shades in the shape of hearts for VDay!

And just a few things to say:
-My best friend, Courtney, and I will never ever EVER in a million years get in a fight
-What a small world!!
-What is it with swimmers?!?
-Why am I so obnoxious?
-I think I might sue Pac Sun (not really).
-I think I'm giving up on You for real.
-I'm glad that I finally told him off. sister has a phone now!


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Good things come to those who wait.

I've been sitting here on my since 4 o' clock today. I haven't moved, and I don't really plan on moving even though I had a complete agenda for myself today.

I'm kind of down in the dumps (as you might say). Even though I've (partially) figured out my feelings, I still feel like this. Thanks to my best friend, Courtney, I'm feeling a little better though. I'm still trying to figure out if the saying "good things come to those who wait." is really true...I think I'll just have to find out.

I finally added my phone as a device for my Twitter updates, so I can keep you guys updated more. It was a little confusing earlier today, but I finally got it working.

I'm feeling a few song recommendations:
1. "Nobody But You"--Sequoyah Prep School
2. "Lucille"--Sequoyah Prep School
3. "To Be Alone With You"--Sufjan Stevens
4. "Into The Sea"--The Album Leaf
5. "Bigcitydreams"--nevershoutnever!

I've been listening to those songs plus a few more all afternoon. Enjoy.

Today I was feeling a little inspired (maybe it has to do with the fact that I was "down in the dumps"), so I wrote a poem based on Nick and Norah's... and I'm quite proud of it. I haven't found a title yet, but I don't see myself publishing it or anything, so here it is:

I recall quiet picnics every winter.
Visiting nests in far away

Sleeping, diving free even in deep skies.
Don't seek open eyes where rivers and clouds exist.
need hourglass-nevers and watered papers.

My friend, stay close to
my kisses.


And look what I found: little me. I'm the one on the left. That was taken years ago, and I can't believe it's still up there.

Les bonnes choses viennent à ceux qui attend,

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

bad memory.

How could I forget? I thought I told you guys, but I didn't...
I found out my results for my most recent auditions, and I've known since Sunday. I have no idea why I haven't posted something about it yet. Anyways, here it is...
I got into North Carolina Dance Theatre.
And I got accepted in the ABT program in Austin, Texas. It's not New York, but at least I got accepted.
I apologize for my terrible memory...

I'm mailing my scholarship application tomorrow, which means I need to finish my essay tonight. I had written a complete essay last night, but my mother proof-read it and didn't think it was worded correctly. Curse my awful English skills...So, I must polish that up a bit, and I think I'm changing my 2nd dance one last time. I think I'm going to dance to "Northern Downpour". It was my original song, but I kept changing it. I always think that I should go with my gut feeling, so I must dance to my first song choice.
I marked through my Le Corsaire variation tonight with Pedro, and he chose a very good version of the music because it's quite slow and a lot more music to take up. I will be working on that for the next two weeks, and I'll make sure to record it and get it on my YouTube soon enough!

So, after I found out that You didn't feel the same way about me, I didn't care as much anymore. Sure, I'm practically in love with You, but I still can't change the fact that You just don't like me that way. And yes, it hurts a little knowing that I was happy for practically no reason, but still You're still all the effort. Let's just say I won't be trying as hard, and I'll wait as long as I'll have to even if that means a whole other year...

Tonight, I finished reading Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and I absolutely loved it. I loved the writing style and the ending was just brilliant. I haven't officially started reading The Catcher in the Rye yet, but I sure will tomorrow!!

Finally, I have some wonderful music to share with you...My dear friend, Mary Cameron, has an extraordinay taste in music. I just want to steal her iPod. One song that stuck out in particular was this one:

Probably my song of the night.

What's on my mind?
-I hate Criss Angel.
-Why am I feeling so tired so early in the evening?
-You are my superhero.
-For some reason, I feel like tomorrow is going to be amazing.
-Friday the 13?
-Valentine's Day; my valentine might have ditched me to think about his ex-girlfriend.
-I love flavored cream cheese.
-I actually didn't have to pee when I started washing the dishes today!!

reinvent love,

Monday, February 09, 2009

stop doing useless incantations. besides, flying gets (you) farther, higher, greater...

I love how the greatest things I write are when I don't try at all.
The title is my most recent "accident".

It was glad having Pedro back for Mondays. Mondays are my favorite day at ballet (Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week in general). I really need to stop talking in class as much. I can tell that it's annoying the teacher and (some) people around me, and I'm only hurting myself and my focus. It's so inconvenient that my best friends are at dance and not at my school...which brings me to what happened before class today with Courtney and I. For those who were there watching us: Yes, that happens quite often. More often than you think.
Partnering class was fun as usual. Got a very strange look from Pedro today when I did an inside joke with John. Jazz was good. Putting the Tornado dance together. Which reminds me! The costumes are pretty gnarly. I'm loving the stirup leggings and the huge headband. I think the next time I try it on, I'll take a picture for you all to see.

The pictures we ordered today from Swan Lake came in. I'm too lazy to work the scanner, so I used my crappy phone camera to take the pictures. I'll probably scan the pictures tomorrow or Wednesday.

The top one is probably my fave from Elementals. The bottom one is just a fantastic shot of us being perfectly together in Four Little Swans.

My babysitter I was telling you about a few nights ago told my mom that we should try something tonight...She told us to go outside under the full moon at midnight to meditate. I really want to do this. It sounds like a great thing to do, but my mom says she's too tired. She's missing out on a wonderful opportunity...I'll probably just meditate in my room. Do you guys meditate?

Just a few last things to say:
-It's good to see you, Cherry.
-I love fresh coconut, but I hate coconut flakes.
-My mom has bad memory.
-I miss Mr. Smiley.
-Saying that is a lot better than You saying "no".
-I can't wait any longer.
-I really want to take bellydancing classes.
-Slumdog Millionaire must really be a kick-ass movie because the music is just rad.
-Angry is a great emotion to dance to.

Quickly ebony is winking on gambles,

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Oh, memories...

I wish I could point out where I am...but if you look in the back. I'm the one with the blue sash. I slowly sit down at the beginning of the Pas, and I'm sitting next to my dear friend, Aaron.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

just doing my job.

I'm returning these books to the library tomorrow.


-I was really tired today.
-My calf is a lot better.
-Rehearsal went very well. Learned a new dance called Poppies. I love it. And we went over Eddies again.
-Getting ready for the upcoming "private performance" at the Taubman Museum. That's going to be exciting.
-My heels hurt from the excessive stomping today.
-I hate going out in public after rehearsal. I look all sweaty and disgusting. At least people know that I'm working hard.
-I changed my mind on my 2nd dance for my scholarship audition. I'm now dancing to "Feelin' Good". But I'm not sure if I should use the Micheal Bublé version or the Pussycat Dolls version...what do you think?
-I love walking around downtown.
-Thank you for being courteous and going to the bathroom to call me, Mrs. Jessee.
-Alejandro's is a great restaurant. Yum.
-So, apparently I'm a mind reader? I think it's because I'm doing the Mazilier variation from Le Corsaire for my scholarship audition...and for the April show too?
-I confuse myself way too much.
-Sarah, I freaking love you to death, and I hate to hear you talk like that. Never ever ever say that you're not good enough. You work hard, and you're going to get into Richmond!!
-I made my "Reinvent Love" cards to put into the C.Palahniuk books I borrowed. Just doing my job.
-I feel stupid...then I don't...then I do again. I think I just need to STOP.


2 hour nap+sushi+reading+3 hour phone conversation= :D

Today wasn't that bad, but I'm just a little upset because 1) I didn't get to grab Your boobs today and 2) I had to give my mom my phone.
But besides that, I enjoyed a nice 2 hour power nap and a fantastic dinner of sushi. (Haha, for a second there, I was about to spell "fantastic" as "phantastic"...???)

The highlight of my night was most definitely my Tarot Card reading by my old babysitter, Leticia. She practically raised me, and she's an amazingamazingamazing woman. She's also very skilled in the spiritual aspect. She gave me a Tarot Card reading, and she answered all my possible questions. I'm not quite sure if I want to repeat what she's said, but let me tell you this, my life is going to be a lot more meaningful and more happy from this point on. One thing she told me is to stop pressuring myself and to just believe in myself. And that my future depends on that single factor of holding my chin up and never giving up, and I am willing to do that. The most important card to me that she pulled was this one right here, "The Star". It defines my life in one single card. It's phenomenal. I got chills, and I'm just so happy and at peace knowing that everything is going to be okay. My future is very bright. I already knew that, but tonight made it very concrete and real for me.
Oh, and major lolz when she pulled out the "Love" Card, and then perfectly described You. I blushed majorly. Tarot cards are the shizz.

And then I had the most perfect 3 hour telephone conversation with Dylan. It's funny because we pretty much never talk on the phone, and the first time that we really do, it ends up being 3 (almost 4) hours long. And I absolutely love it. This is how our friendship is going to be from now and until forever. Tonight really showed both of us that we aren't ever going to leave each other no matter the situation. Oh, Dylan...the jokes we cracked tonight were just brilliant. We are forgiven for saying somethings though.


Thursday, February 05, 2009

That's what she said.

I've never felt so much pain in my whole entire life.

...and I've never been more worried in my entire life.
Tonight, I think I pulled something in my calf. My beautiful, beautiful calves. How ironic that today I was bragging about how muscular and amazing my calves are, and now one of them is injured. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that it was my weaker calf.
I was up in releveé during adagio and center...and all of a sudden, my calf muscle just contracted into a huge ball in the middle of my calf. The pain was incredible. I'm not lying that it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.
And I'm so worried because I have an audition next weekend, and I need to start rehearsing for my scholarship audition!! I don't need this right now...
Whenever something bad happens to me, I always stop to think about what I could have done to have this happen to me. Karma. I'm a strong believer. And honestly, I can think of a few things that could have brought me this bad karma...
I have ice on it now, courtesy of my father's ice bag. Thanks, Papa.

On a lighter note, I do believe I have a possible valentine. Even though I will be out of town on Valentine's Day...I think I have someone in mind that I might have a special moment with. This is just so perfect. I have a present idea ready, and I just can't wait to give it to him!! This is going to be a lot of fun!!

Just a few more things to say...
-I'm actually starting to loosen up on you, Smellysir. Which means you need a less harsh nickname...
-Today's Tropical Punch Slushy color was salmon. Yesterday it was period blood.
-I need to dig up my VHS of "Scamper the Penguin" (aka, one of the best movies ever made).
-I love Skandar Keynes
-I ate too many cookies today.
-I sang "Round Here" too many times today.
-I was extremely cold today.
-I smiled too much today.

I love his boobs,

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Let's make babies.

I filled out my scholarship audition application today during Biology. We were supposed to be making babies (actually just a lab about genetics), and I was texting away and filling in my application. And I can't believe that to apply for the State Scholarship a 100 word essay is required. This is so...out of the blue! And strange. But I have a feeling that I'm going to need to get used to writing essays for applications...

The two dances I'm doing are the the variation from the Pas de Trois from Le Corsaire and a contemporary dance to Robert Pattinson's song, "Never Think". I'm arranging a time that I can go to the studio for an hour or two to work on my choreography. Courtney and I plan on sharing the two hours on Wednesdays, so that sounds like a good plan to me.

Here's the Le Corsaire Variation (0:00-1:07)--

And then there's Rob Pattinson's song which is absolutely brilliant. I love the guitar, and I love his voice.

Okay, so I officially believe that all talent is bred from Canada. Ever since 7th grade, I said that I either want to live in Europe or Canda because they're both bad ass. And guess what, I'm right. Celine Dion, Michael Bublé, Keltie Colleen, and David Foster are all Canadian!! Purebred brilliance.

I'm dressing up tomorrow because I feel like it, and a special someone had a request.
Dress+leggings+boots+scarf=sexy enough?

I'm feeling good,

P.S.- On the subject of making babies...Today is my mother's birthday!! We sang her "Happy Birthday" early in the morning, and then again tonight with a lovely chocolate cake. Good thing I don't have an audition coming up this weekend because I wouldn't have eaten a slice of that delicious cake!! It's funny because today is Maria's mom's birthday as well!! I think they should sing "Birthday" by the Beatles...

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I think I'm happy...

Something quite unexpected happened today...

but I'm loving it.

I'm not quite sure how to feel. If this is good or if this is bad...If I should care more, or if I should care less. I'm so confused...But my instinct is telling me that I should be veryveryvery happy right now. And honestly, I can't help it. I feel the people getting annoyed with me...or maybe I'm just paranoid. Either way, I still feel really bad. But maybe, it's due to the fact that I've never felt this way before. You people have no clue how much this is fucking up with my head...and again, I absolutely love it.

My deardeardear best friends seemed a little upset tonight about something that I can't quite figure out...I love my best friends.
And lately I've realized how much I love the Killers. Haha, I haven't listened to them in forever. And listening to them recently has really gotten me back into them.

Tonight was killer at dance. That's all there is to say about that...don't wanna sound too cocky. (;

"I'm soaring on endorphins",

Monday, February 02, 2009


Yesterday was my audition for American Ballet Theatre up in Rockville, MD.
And overall, I think I did very well...
Okay, fine, I kicked ass. lol.

I was so nervous for this audition! I mean, it's ABT!! I can't stress enough how nervous I was for this audition...So, yesterday, Courtney and I woke up at about 11:30. It was lovely sleeping in that late. We ate a wonderful breakfast consisting of cinammon bagels and cinammon buns. Yum. Then, we rushed to get ready to go to the campus of University of Maryland. It was so nice being back in Maryland. It honestly felt like home to me.

The campus was so big!! There were so many buildings and housing and classrooms. It was phenomenal. We checked out the Performing Arts Center which was really cool. Oh, and there's only one thing I have to say: College Boys. Haha. I thought they would get more mature...The dorms look very comfy. Honestly, I can't wait to live in a dorm. Especially since I'll probably have my best friends with me. It's going to be so crazy but amazingly fun.

Then it was off to the ABT audition. I was marked as dancer number 80. I wore my leotard that rides up really really bad only because it makes me look skinny and my legs look longer. I borrowed Courtney's flat shoes since the only pair I had with me were those ugly leather ones. And I thank her so much for saving me like that. Pointe was really easy...I'm just so relieved that I didn't fail at this audition. This one was probably the most important to me.

The ride home was very splendid. We stopped at McDonalds, and I haven't eaten at McDonalds in about 3 years...and I've forgotten how delicious it tastes!! Trust me, I hate fast food, but when you don't have it for a long time, it tastes like heaven. I ordered a medium fries, small Sprite, and an Oreo McFlurry. The best dinner to have on the way home from an amazing ABT audition. I stayed up the whole time thanks to my insomnia. And about an hour away from home, my phone died. The worst time for it to die...Sorry I left You hanging.

And since everyone is doing these, I'll just copy and paste the 25 facts thing that I did on my Facebook:
1. I love doing these facts things...
2. I consider myself to be old fashioned, even though I'm quite addicted to the computer and love playing with new technology.
3. I think I overuse "haha".
4. The only movie that I will never get tired of from watching over and over and over again is "Across the Universe".
5. Clowns and cockroaches are my phobias.
6. I wish at every 11:11.
7. There's this guy that I like, and I really think I have a chance with him.
8. I think I'm OCD about open doors; I have to close them.
9. I know what true love is.
10. I've gotten into this habit of cutting my hair almost every week because I'm never satisfied with it.
11. Both my arms and legs are hyper extended.
12. I like to make a fool of myself in front of people that I know I will never see again in my life.
13. I plan on sending a postcard to PostSecret sometime soon.
14. I never practice my piano like I'm supposed to.
15. The best poems I write are on these Facebook notes.
16. My bedroom was a boy's room before we moved in, so I still have a boy's sports border on the walls.
17. I have this obsession with solving the rubik's cube over and over again.
18. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I was at least 5'6".
19. I fall for people way too easily, and that's one of the things I hate about myself.
20. I'm aware that I sit like a little kid whenever I'm in a chair.
21. I am cold all the time.
22. It feels like everyday I'm becoming a different person, however, that different person is the real me.
23. I was such a tomboy when I was little.
24. I think that YouTube is seriously one of the best inventions ever.
25. In 2nd grade, my best friend told me that my lucky number was 3. I never asked why, but I still say that my lucky number is 3.

Oh, and one more thing...who knew that from smacking the keyboard I'd create such lovely words such as these:
"under cigarettes, between embers; we call over winter icicles."

reinvent love,