Tuesday, April 07, 2009

“People need something or someone to fasten themselves to in order to reassure themselves that they are real."

For the longest time, I was searching for someone. I felt that someone would be more solid and concrete than a something.

And for the longest time, I thought that someone was You. The late night conversations and the playful dates obviously meant more to me than they did to You. I'm just wondering if it's the fact that I'm a girl, or that I can actually see something going on between us. I'd like to believe that You're just blind.

And for the longest time, I kept wishing that You would make me your someone because You were already mine. Those wishes were a complete waste. I AM NOT your "bro", I AM NOT your "dude"--not anymore. We were always up and down, and I hated it. I only stuck around because I still had faith in You that You would someday come around. I believed in: "Good things come to those who wait." for too long now. This was the last thing I needed to make me realize that You're not everything and You are definitely NOT my someone. You made me feel like I had to be your someone, so I changed myself for You. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I always told myself that would never happen, and it did.

Point is: I thought you were my someone, but frankly you fucked things up and screwed me over. Quite frankly, You don't know anything about emotions either. Go find some. And as much as I'd like to be upset about this whole situation, I'm really happy that You aren't going to be stupid and make me feel like I have to change myself for you. I will never refer to You as "You" ever again. Thank You.

Instead of having a someone, I have a something, Dancing. There's nothing else that makes me feel more human and invincible at the same time. I feel so strong and that I'm a part of something that will change people's lives. This is why I dance. Just saying that I love it is never enough. It makes me who I am, and it is a part of me. My blood dances through my veins; it just will never leave. All my someones are my best friends. They know who they are, and I just want to say that all of you make me feel like I'm worth something and more than I think. You all mean so much to me; I could never ask for any other someones ever.

I have found a prom date, now off to buy tickets, dress, nails, hair.......

P.S. When You see me at prom, You will practically beat Yourself up for not asking me. I'm going to be the hottest shit on that dancefloor; You just watch out! You'll wanna dance with me...

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