Saturday, May 09, 2009

despite the fact

Despite the fact that I had a great show on Thursday, I can't stop thinking about how much I want to rewind time right now.
I cried for 4 hours straight last night, and I'm not sure if I want to fix things or leave them as they are to spare my feelings. What confuses me is that if you really wanted to be with me, you would've believed me and turned right around. If all I want to do is be with you, then why would I lie to you?

I hate technology.
I hate my cowardness.

However, the greatest idea popped into my head this morning as I opened my tender swollen eyes. I'll sing you a song with my guitar, and it will make everything better. I just know it, and as much as I want to back out of this, I have to do it. I want to make things better. Things need to go back and maybe change how they were before. Maybe you'll finally find out how I feel about you...and that's the only thing I'm afraid of. You'll find it awkward.
But I think that when I get my feelings out there, that's when things will get better.
I just know it.


PS. who knew that dads could be so easy to talk to?

PPS. who knew someone could produce enough tears for 4 hours straight?

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