Tuesday, August 25, 2009

my guarantee.

i guarantee that the eyes are blind to what the heart can see.

I came up with this little thing after talking to him. I looked up at him (because he's so tall!), and I only saw perfection. But I realized that I wasn't looking at him with my eyes but with my heart. Then after that, I realized that I tend to look with my heart rather than my eyes. Is that so wrong? I tend to look at people for what I want them to be, and that's not being realistic is it? I guess that goes hand-in-hand with the fact that I love to dream all the time...but I still want to know if he was looking down at me with his eyes or with his heart? It would be awful for me to say that he doesn't have a heart, but it's plain to say that he doesn't know how to use it. I've tried to guide him in the right direction and even waited around for it to start ticking away telling him what he's really feeling.
But I won't lie. I felt pretty good about myself when I was the one walking next to him on the way to his car. I felt amazing when he said that he wanted to walk back with me. I felt that "uh-oh" feeling when he said that he wants to hang out at the football game on Friday. Then when you just walked away with a simple "goodbye" and not even a wave of a hand or even a smile, I knew that maybe it was all too good to be true. I was hoping for something a little more special. Just a little something that made me think about why he had asked me to stay after school to talk. But instead I just got some denial. I was in so much denial about being completely over him...well that's self-explanitory. And while I stood there waiting for my ride to get me, I thought about what it all meant:

"I guarantee that the eyes are blind to what the heart can see."

Now was this boy seeing the same thing that I do when I look in the mirror? Or is he seeing what he chooses to or not to see?

I'm slowly starting to get in the hang of things here at school. Getting in the hang of homework and the feeling of stress. I just know that it's going to get 23o8493 times worse once classes start picking up, rehearsals start getting more intense, and theatre week! But it's going to be one hell of a season, and I just can't wait! But I must say, this week is going by hella slow.

Hurray for hot tea and pilates to make it all better! xoxo

"It is very simple: one sees well only with the heart. The essential is invisible to the eyes."--The Little Prince

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