Tuesday, September 22, 2009

close enough

"i'll show you a good time, but be ready to fight."

I love crocheting these little muffin caps. They are so easy and fun to make! I put all my hair up into it for the first time today, and I realized that I would look pretty damn good with some short hair. Believe it or not, I used to get my hair cut to a short bob every year, but I stopped doing that in about 8th grade. What I also discovered is that I'm not so afraid of what to wear anymore. I used to be so self-conscience about what I put on in the morning. What were people going to think about my outfit? I don't wear extremely crazy and extravagant outfits, but I do pull a lot of my inspiration from Lookbook + Urban Outfitters. They have some pretty amazing outfits on there, but not something a lot of people at my school wear. But now I'm starting to realize that it doesn't matter anymore. I'm my own person, and I'm fashionable. So I woke up and wore what I wanted. And I even got compliments. Funny how it works that way...

I'm learning a lot about myself + the universe lately.

I learned that I'm extremely inspired right now. So I wrote yet another amazing song today. I don't know what's in the air, but I'm producing fantastic songs. If you haven't heard, I created a Myspace page for my music. I'm still debating whether or not I should keep it to actually post my music on there. The only reason why I don't want to is because of the whole copyright situation. I just don't want my lyrics popping up to someone else's tune. But isn't there a rule about that on Myspace Music? I should actually read that stuff...Anyways, I really want to share my music (even though I don't want to be known for my music). Here's my link: http://www.myspace.com/briaballerinasings
I really want to know what you guys think about this, so let me know!
What I learned about the universe is that there are so many sweet people in it and that you don't get to choose your bad days.
I recently asked one of my homeschooled friends to be my homecoming date. He quickly said no, and apologized for not being able to go with me. He kept saying that he was honored that I would ask him. And he even elaborated by sending me a Facebook message. Being so sweet about it, I didn't care that he said no. You need to find people like this. People that care so much about how you feel and what you think of them that they will go to great lengths to make sure everything is fine.
Tonight at dance class, there were a few girls getting frustrated and upset with themselves because they couldn't get somethings right. For some it was turns. For others it was a balance. I watched them beat themselves up over these things. This is what us dancers go through everyday. We beat ourselves up for what we can't do. We are constantly told that we're not perfect. We need to get better. But then I looked in the mirror, and I saw that I wasn't having a great dance class either. But I didn't let that get to me. I still went along with a smile on my face because this is what I do. This is what I enjoy. When you can't get something right in ballet class or even in Math class. You have to focus on what you can do before you start paying more attention to what you can't. You have to know your strengths before you know your weaknesses. It's the only way you can get stronger.
You can't pick the bad days in your life. The universe just throws them at you. But you can pick your good days. You just have to make sure that you're doing everything in your power to make it a good day. I made today a good day because I woke up knowing it already. I've already decided that this entire week is going to be an amazing week. You have to tell yourselves what's going to happen so that it will.

I'm constantly telling myself that I will not give into you. It's finally working.

I'm finally listening to myself and letting my heart take a break.

xobria

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