Friday, September 25, 2009

i only love you for what you're worth.

"Unfortunately, you don't get what you deserve. You get what you think you deserve."--I Wrote This For You;

This entire week has been probably the best week in my life.
Nothing special happened.
It's because I'm happy. Something happened to me on Monday that made me turn a new leaf. I blame it on the season change though...But I am doing so good. So good with myself. With my family. With my friends. With(out) you. I'm just doing so good, and I am so happy + proud with myself. Everyone should feel like this. Alas, it just doesn't come this easy. You have to give up + let go! That's what I did! I let go. Of everything not worth holding on to. And I feel wonderful. There's no other way to explain it.

Yesterday, it rained buckets.
I love the rain.
I used to think about what happened that made it rain.
Most of the time, it rained when I was having a bad day.
When I was upset with myself.
When I was being too hard on myself.
But yesterday, it rained. And I didn't have a reason. I couldn't blame anything for the beautiful downpour. Then I realized that sometimes, you don't need a reason to do things. You can just do them. Just like the weather. The weather does what it likes because it can. So, I enjoyed the rain for what it's worth. I stood in the rain until my grandmother made me come inside + my dog was barking at the window.

You have to enjoy life for what it's worth. Life is being so good to all of you because you're still here. The other night, I was driving in the dead of night, and I almost hit another car. So close. And if that car had been there seconds earlier, it all would've been over. But it's not because my life is being good to me. The universe is looking out for me. It's looking for all of us.

Find things that you can just enjoy and love for what it's worth. Sometimes you don't have to have a reason for it either. You can just love it, embrace it, nurture it to your heart's content.

Tomorrow, I've got a call to the studios @ 7:30am. We're getting our hair did + doing warm-up before the show. I'm so excited for the show! Everyone is just going to love the live music! It's the best part about it! And the band is great. This is such a fun show; I wish you call could come and watch! Then after the show, we're gonna be rushing back to the studios for another few hours of rehearsal until 7pm at night. It's going to be a busy + bustling day. But it's all part of the job. The job that I will have for the rest of my life. The job that I love.

I discovered that I only love you for what you're worth.
Which apparently wasn't a lot or enough.

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