Wednesday, September 09, 2009

on the surface.

Why isn't anything what it appears to be on the surface.
You look at me, and you might see a strong + fearless girl.
But on the inside, I'm very afraid of things and I'm not as strong as I think I am.

I look at us, from far away, and we look so perfect. We look the way it's supposed to be. But on the inside, it's all a secret. No one knows anything. No one's supposed to know anything. And you are not a loving boy who just wants to kiss my neck and whisper I'm beautiful. I'm not a loving girl that will take you in my arms and say that I'm yours forever.
Nothing is ever what it seems.
Yet I'm liking the view.

Yesterday was the first day of regular classes at the studio. It was so good to see some old faces back in the groove again, and it was so amazing and exciting to see some new faces that go with the flow. This year is going to be great, I just know it!

I forgot to tell you guys that I got a new Canon digital SLR camera! My mom thought it would be helpful for me to explore myself as a photographer with a new and rad camera. As you can tell, I had a little fun with the self-timer + this new floral dress (I just love it so much!!). I think we're setting up a Flickr in photography class pretty soon, so I might just wait until then to make one. I've been taking a lot of pictures. Especially of flowers. I find flowers particularly pretty and fascinating, and with this new SLR, the color is enhanced so much and it just looks gorgeous. I tried to take a picture of a butterfly, but it just kept flying away from me! How do the photographers do it?

Today I learned that:
-I never do my homework/study in Study Hall. I always do homework in other classes.
-my best friend is going through a tough time right now, and she needs more than ever.
-I'm not as funny as I think I am. I guess that's what makes me a dork.
-my sister does listen to me.
-my dog is mad that I was kissing another boy the other day and not him.
-you + I are just ridiculous together.

just take me with you. i wish we weren't a secret.

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