Saturday, October 24, 2009

distract me.

"happiness can only be found if you can free yourself of all other distractions."--saul bellow

I love just getting away. Dancing all day really does make everything better. I was at rehearsal today sweating buckets (gross, I'm sorry), and just working so hard for everything. I was even having a good turning day. And I was hoping to wear a pair of heels after a couple of hours in pointe shoes (how rare). Today's rehearsal was great, but we hit a bump in the road. Our ballet mistress totally messed up the patternings in Snow, and when Pedro saw it today, he was not happy. He had to rearrange everyone, and everyone was in a different spot than they were before. We spent an extra hour on Snow because of this. It was a big bump to hit, but good thing we tackled it now than later. It would've been so much worse if we had to fix it later. But we also finished Marzipan. We're trying to polish it up as much as we can before our performance in two weeks (Nov. 7). We know all the steps, now it's all about artistry. My favourite part!

We saved the kickline for last tonight, and I was so excited to do it again! The music this year (since it changed) is so much faster + more upbeat. I think it will be even better than last year! We got some really sassy girls on our kickline this year, so I think it'll be even hotter. I saved Pedro's booty today by giving him the video from last year (the one I posted on YouTube--that I had to take down...oops). And he was really happy to have some of the old choreo in there. Wouldn't want that genious to go to waste! I love these long days because by the end of them, I always feel a sense of accomplishment. What a great feeling. You know what else I love? Walking around the mall, and then seeing my company's advertising display in one of the display windows. I love pointing out which pictures I'm in and letting everyone that passes by know that I'm in the company and that they should come see the shows.

The next few weeks + couple of months is going to be the greatest time of my life. It's all I'm looking forward to at this point. I'm not worried about anything anymore except what color lipstick I'm going to wear and when I'll have time to sew a new pair of pointe shoes. Things are really picking up right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've got the greatest friends around me and happiest legs below me. Why would I let any of that go to waste?

Today was a distraction. Just getting away from the things that were really eating me away. Today I felt so full + alive. I had spirit today. Nothing was pulling me down. But then when I walked out of rehearsal, fatigue hit me. All that lost energy finally caught up to me, and I was tired. I was tired from dancing. I was tired from the stress. I was tired from the hurt. then I started to space off, and it's like my mind always wants to think of you no matter what my heart is feeling. Because I thought of you on the way home, and it was all good until I remembered that you were spending the entire weekend with the other girl. Seeing you kiss her in the same places I love to be kissed. Hearing the same songs we listened to in your car. Hearing you tell her the same things you whispered in my ears. And I cried.

But I love the people in this world because I've gotten texts and Myspace comments from people asking me if I'm alright. They have been checking up on my blog + Twitter, and they're concerned. I love people. All of you have the greatest karma right now, I just know it. Don't ever change. For anyone.

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