Wednesday, October 14, 2009

journey's end

"journeys end in lovers meeting."--william shakespeare

I'm a strong believer in "things happen for a reason". Sometimes we're meant to be happy. Sometimes we're meant to be broken to pieces.
Good things must come to an end, and this is ours.
I'm going to spend the next few months erasing everything. The words. The touches. The whispers. The memories. The feelings. It's not going to be easy, but it's all going to be gone given a matter of time. It will be like you never existed in my mind. You will try to reminisce, but I will just ignore you.

You will regret ever fucking with me. While I, on the other hand, will not regret anything. I don't regret the time we spent together. I don't regret the feelings I had for you. I don't regret all those kisses. I don't regret all those songs we listened + danced to. I don't regret anything. You will never know what real love is because you are such a coward. You scum. You slime. You will never know how much of my heart I've given you because you're so arrogant. You will never know what I look like on the inside because you won't take off those tinted glasses. You will never know. Ever.

I'm not afraid of the future anymore because I know that it can only get better from here.
But what I am afraid of is finding someone else, or not finding someone else. I'm afraid that I will never find someone that will mend my heart enough for me to love them with all of it. I'm afraid that my ideas of love will change. I'm afraid that maybe, I won't find love.

I need a nice boy.
"the courses of true love never did run smooth."--william shakespeare


Imy B said...

I felt so sad, then the anger came. How dare a boy treat someone this way? Especially someone like you. You are amazing. Damn, Bria, let the nice boys find you! Why do girls have to do the chasing? You will find love, your heart will mend. Friends are there to support you. Boys who mess with you aren't worth your time. Don't forget this experience, learn from it. Manure helps all the lovely plants grow into the most gorgeous flowers! If only he knew what he's missing...


bria ballerina said...

I know. I just feel so stupid for letting something like this happen because I know that I deserve better. So much better.
Ironically, I made him do some of the chasing just to know if he was really interested. And for a while I believed it. I believed it all. Who wouldn't? With all that charm...
And it's not only me that he's hurting. He's hurting the other girl. I have absolutely nothing against that girl. If anything, I know exactly how she feels. Feeling like she's so in love with him. Because I was in her position months ago. But now I'm here...

But I've got the greatest friends who are getting me through this. I love them so much.
And trust me, I've learned so much from being with him. I've learned that you can't change a person. No matter how hard you try. I've learned that I put way too much faith in other people. it's a curse + a blessing that I've been given to deal with. And I've learned that time heals all. So, I can't hate time anymore.

Thanks for being here for me, Imy.