We all have one.
It's gotten to the point where it hurt to be away from him, but it hurt to be with him. I still haven't figured out which one is more painful. But either way, I was being hurt. And I'm still not sure if that feeling of "love" is worth all the pain.
I always say that I don't mind remembering. Because I really don't. It's always nice to remember. That's why we do it, right? To remember everything in the end. But what's not nice is to remember when you don't want to.
I watched "New Moon" tonight. After seeing "Twilight", I definitely did not want to see "New Moon". I was just so upset about how much they messed up the plot line and missed important parts (but that's just me being picky + a book nerd). But I gave in when I saw the trailer which actually made the movie look good. However, I was still disappointed. It still wasn't up to par with what I felt and what I saw while reading the book. But what I hated the most about the movie was that it reminded me of you. I can't wait to see the day that I can go through without thinking about you for a single second. Because I've done all my remembering, and I've done all my reminiscing. It was the tan + big muscles of Taylor Lautner that really reminded me of you. His cockiness (yet sweetness that only I could see) is exactly like you, and I couldn't help but see you. I thought about telling you after the movie ended, but I think that would just make things worse. You'd pull me in again, and the cycle would start all over. Which is something I definitely don't want.
I'm not afraid for the future and what it holds because that day will come. And when it does, I will be set free.