Monday, November 02, 2009

that's what they all say.

I've had a fantastically busy weekend.

Friday I wore one (of the three) of my Halloween costumes to school. I was a gladiator. But I looked so high fashion, you probably couldn't even tell that I was a gladiator. Not many people did, but oh well. (You were some king just to prove a point, but you just ended up looking like a dumbass). That night, I went on a grand date with my friend. He treated me out to dinner, the football game, and even dessert after. It felt strange for a boy to pay for everything for me (because you never did), but I couldn't complain about him being a gentleman. The game was fun, and I spent the night screaming crazy things and dancing all over the place with my best friend. I love us. I wouldn't want any other best friend. Ever. We lost the game, but that was already expected. Also, I saw you in the front with the other girl. Don't worry, I know you saw me. You don't have to pretend anymore. She looks happy. But when I saw you see me, I could see a little guilt on your face. And I couldn't help but laugh.

Saturday was Halloween of course!! A bunch of us dressed up to rehearsal, and there were some really super cute costumes. A couple of girls were Batgirl + Supergirl and made really cute things to put on their leotards. So creative! I took all of my ace bandages (since I have so many :P) and wrapped myself up and called myself a mummy. Mr. Pedro wore his crazy spandex + a clown wig! He always knows how to make a rehearsal fun. He even brought a whole bucket of candy for us to much on all rehearsal long! Us dancers can never resist some sweets. We ran snow a couple of times with the new changes. Also, we got some of the divertessments done (like Spanish, Chinese, and Arabian). The orchestra director came that day to listen and watch for each divertessments to make sure that he's conducting correctly. I really can't wait to perform with the orchestra! I did last year at Holiday Pops, but that was for the kickline. This time I get to do it with a classical divertissment! So exciting! And to finish rehearsal, we finally finished the kickline! It's really fun and super sassy! I can't wait to dance it for the public this weekend! ...OMG! Our first show (of many!) is this weekend! Oh my! Time flies when you're having fun!
Then Halloween night, I was off to an awesome party thrown by one of my really good friends. She always has the most fabulous parties. As you can see, my friends and I were the best Cheetah Girls ever! I never knew I could pull of cheetah print, but it actually doesn't look half bad on me, ha! Thank you so much, Steph, for letting me borrow your dress. You're a sweetheart! I spent the night dancing (when am I not dancing?) and just having a great time. That night, I just stuck to things that I'm good at: dancing, drinking diet coke, walking in high heels, and forgetting my retainer. It was a great night, and it was a great way to end the month of October.

I realized this weekend that I'm a girl that can turn heads. I'm completely dateable. You just have to get to know me, and that's where every boy fails. I've been told many times that I can be quite intimidating at first. I don't mean to be! Just talk to me! I swear I don't bite! I don't know what else I can do but smile and hope for the best.
I met an old friend at the party, and we found ourselves talking about guitars and scary movies. We then continued the conversation into the next day, and he said that he wanted "to get to know me now". I've known this boy for a couple of years now, and I just want to know why now? Why not earlier? He then continued on to tell me that he's "not like other guys". He really isn't. He's such a sweet, handsome, and talented boy, and I'm just afraid that he's just thinking of the same things.
I don't want this to end the same way as we did. As much as I want to believe that he's not like other guys (like he claims), I can't help but think that he is just like the rest of them. Only having one thing on his mind, and it's not the same thing that I've got on my mind. I could be completely wrong, but I'm not ready to just jump into something like that. Not again. It's just not fair to myself to keep putting myself through so much temptation + hurt, especially since I know how most of it is going to end. I'm just not going to go into little cars driving into secret nights anymore. I want something real. And I'm not going to spell it out for anyone anymore because no one ever seems to know how to read these days. I'm just going to wait for that one person that's going to be strong enough and that's going to care enough to know what's on my mind. Then you can give me a call about how I want to do things.

What I love most about my life: going to the craft store to the yarn aisle and conversing with older women about crocheting.

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