Saturday, January 23, 2010

i'm just a pumpkin.

"well there's one thing. they can't order me to stop dreaming." - cinderella

I've got less than a week to embody this character of Cinderella, and I'm starting to stress out and freak out.

I learned my variation just a week ago, and I'm not feeling entirely confident with it quite yet. Of course I'm going to do the best that I can and continue to keep pushing myself, but tonight's rehearsal just left me angry and upset with myself. My tutu wasn't feeling right, the arches of my feet were cramping up, I was tired and hungry. I am unsure how the performance next week is going to go, but I still believe in miracles. The costume ladies are going to work their magic on my tutu. I'm going to eat many bananas and continue to stretch to prevent the cramping. And I'll make sure to get enough sleep and eat healthy before the show. The rest is left to magic.

When I perform, I strive to do better than I did back at the studio. And I tend to cover up my flaws and insecurities with a huge and confident smile on my face. I will end up doing a good turn here and maybe one good balance here, and then it's the end. On that stage, I have one chance to be that gorgeous, flawless ballerina princess. And at the end of the show. At the end of the night. Underneath all the glitter and hairspray and gel, I'm just a shy little girl with a big dream. A little pumpkin transformed for a short period of time into that magical moment. Putting on a tutu doesn't make someone a ballerina. It's the hardwork and ease you present to the audience, and the joy that you bring to those who watch you. Becoming famous doesn't make you successful. It's knowing that you're doing what you love and knowing that you're a better person because of it.

As a dancer, I have to embrace my character and make it part of myself for that moment under the spotlight. But just like Cinderella, I'm going to keep dreaming, keep believing until the shoe fits.


Anonymous said...

Haha I have a show next saturday to raise money for Haiti, I'm really nervous too. Have a nice week!

bria ballerina said...

That is so amazing!! Break a leg, girl. You'll do great!!


Anonymous said...

Aw thanks. :)