Tuesday, January 19, 2010

a revelation.


Resume: Check.
Headshot: Check.
Letter of Intent: Check.
Fearless Heart: Check.
Revelation: Heck Yes, Check!

I was so excited to get back to my little blog to tell you that I've had a revelation!!

As I was just starting the audition class yesterday, I was in the middle of a tendu exercise and I was already dripping with sweat. I was sweating from being nervous. I was sweating because it seemed like the air conditioning wasn't on. I was sweating because I was working my ass off. I was sweating because I was striving to be better. Then the teacher said, "Get out of your usual routine of plié, tendu, plié, tendu. Do something different. Make your own discoveries."

From that point on, my mindset changed completely. Because I realized that auditions aren't about being better than the other girls; it's about being better than yourself. When the teacher told us to get out of usual routine, at first I was confused. Teachers have always been telling me to pay attention to every detail of the audition because they're looking for someone that will look at the details and do exactly as the teacher does. Because from what I've heard, choreographers or directors aren't going to give a shit if you can do an extra turn here because it fit in the music. They're going to care if you do their choreography the way they want you to. So when this teacher was telling us to do something different every time we did a combination, I went way out of the box. I didn't pay attention to what the other girls were doing, and I paid close attention to what my body wanted to do here at this tendu, or at this glissé. Because that's what that audition was about.

Auditions are to discover what certain teacher, programs, choreographers, directors will get out of you. If you walk out of that audition not sweating, feeling accomplished, feeling like you've learned something, then maybe that particular place just isn't for you. After all, it is a class.

The only thing about this audition that might have brought me down a little bit was the fact that they didn't separate us into different age groups. So the ages ranged from 14 to 22 in that audition. My favorite thing about this audition was that it wasn't your typical ballet class. Sure, there were the typical barre exercises, but there were some modern flairs thrown into them. And of course, I added my own little flair. Also, the last 20 minutes were dedicated to modern improv. Improv is my favorite thing to do, and this was my chance to shine for at least one minute out of all of those 18 dancers. There were a few dancers that really caught my eye and made me smile at their creativity.

I walked out of that audition feeling like I already made it because I felt like I did the best I could + more. Results should be coming in about 2 weeks!

My next two auditions are on the same day for ABT + Washington Ballet. Two in one day? I can do it...

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