Thursday, February 11, 2010

sweet rejection.

"do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. the world you desire can be won. it exists. it is real. it is possible. it's yours." - ayn rand

Today I received notice that I was not accepted into the San Francisco Ballet Summer Program. It's not the first time I've dealt with rejection. Of course I was disappointed when I found out that I wasn't accepted. I kept thinking to myself, "What did I do wrong? Was it my feet? Was it my arms?" But then I remembered that I worked so hard during that audition, and I couldn't put my finger on it. Pedro says that sometimes you're just not what they're looking for.

Most of the time, these companies are looking for tall girls with long legs. In other words, total opposite of me. But instead of hating what I'm not. I'm accepting who I am and embracing it. It's hard to see people criticizing their own bodies all the time. You have to realize that you have to love your body because it's the only one you've got.

On the brightside, I have several more auditions to attend with in the next couple of weeks that I can still succeed at. Also, I'm going to start working on my tape that I'm going to send to LINES Ballet for financial aid. This video will include: barre work, center work, a classical variation, and a contemporary piece choreographed by yours truly. I went to the studio early this afternoon to work on "Last Request", and let me just say that I've missed being at the studio just to dance around. It's been such a long time since I've just put on some music and messed around with some movement. It's how things are meant to be.

Tomorrow is only the second day I'm going to school this week thanks to the snow. And Saturday is the first company rehearsal in about two weeks because of all the snow. Snow, are you getting the hint that you're screwing up everyones' schedules?


PS. I can't wait to see Romeo + Juliet on Sunday for good ol' V-Day. What's a better way to spend Cupid day than with my girlies of the company and my favorite ballet?

No comments: