Monday, February 15, 2010

how are things?

"a stupid mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again." - unknown

The other day, I put on your favorite song. And I didn't feel anything. I did the little dance I choreographed to it. And I didn't feel anything. This was when I knew that I don't care anymore. That I was finally free and moved on from you.

You asked me how I was doing, and instead of hinting that I missed you just the slightest bit, I said that I was wonderfully busy and loving life. You said that we will spend a little time together catching up on lost time, and I said "that would be nice." with sincerity, not eagerness.

Things are different now, and as much as I want to love you again and give you another chance. It's just not the same. Things will never be the same between us. One thing that I will make sure of as we spend our last times together is that I want you to know how much you fucked up. I want you to know that things would've looked brighter if you had chosen love. I want you to know that I was the only person that recognized your insecurities and was willing to be the one to deal with it and help you.

As much as I would like to start things all over with you again. I don't. As much as I want to erase our history and rediscover everything. I don't. As much as I want to tell you all the reasons why I love you. I won't. As much as I want to tell you how much you've hurt me. I won't.

As broken as I feel sometimes. I'm not.


Annalise O said...

Thats great Bria! You go girl!
Just one thing though, the quote at the bottom works in context, but is actually from a song called 'Lemon Incest' by the Gainsbourgs and he's talking about his daughter... couldn't resist having a giggle!

bria ballerina said...

Ohhh, wow!! Thanks for the heads up!! I search for things on the internet, and I keep what I like!
But thanks for letting me know! :)