Thursday, March 04, 2010

float on.

Trust me, I'm a very funny person. It doesn't take much to make me laugh, and I always enjoy a good joke and light-hearted times.
There some things, some situations, some people that I can't take lightly. Most people do. But I don't. I'm not normal in that way. I'm still learning how to take things lightly and be a little less serious.
I'm young, reckless, and hopeful. I get it. But I've really really really got to lighten up...

Last night, I went out to IHOP with my best friend, Dylan, and her boyfriend, Dave. And normally in these situations, I would feel like a dopey little third wheel. But we all get along so well that I hardly even noticed that they were a couple + me tagging along. That is until of course they started making out front of me, but that's a different story...
But what I wanted to say is that I saw love last night. Right in front of my very eyes. And I'm not going to lie, I wanted that for myself so badly. Right that very minute. And when I got home last night, I sat on my bed and wondered why things never work out for me. I kept thinking of all these excuses, and that's when I thought to myself, "There I go again, taking things too seriously."
I over-analyze things. I think most girls do, but let me just say that I'm the master of it. I try so hard to be that person that someone will want to be with. I push myself to the edge to where it's a lose-lose situation. Usually, it's between me getting hurt or me getting hurt. I'm really really really trying to get to the point where I can just float on through a situation without the weight of doubts or excuses hanging over my head.

I think that I just need to learn how to float. Because even though I'll be riding on thin air, I still know that the earth is still there down below me to ground me only when I need it.


alright, already, we'll all float on.
alright, don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy.

PS. Sunday is my scholarship audition, and I'm very nervous, yet excited, for it. I've been rehearsing for weeks for this, and I think I'm ready as I'll ever be. Plus, I can't wait to see what the other girls have prepared for it. I wonder if the judges will be different this year...

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