Thursday, July 15, 2010

fate + karma.

me: "what do you think about all this? you and me. the way we're able to talk and connect like this."
him: "i feel like it was fate + karma that we was just so random and not like me to talk to someone i don't really know. i'm more than happy that i did...i'm not worried."

Sometimes when you're done hoping, praying, fighting for love, crying, and laying awake in your bed wondering. The right thing will come along.

I've spent so much of my time and pieces of my heart talking to boys and analyzing the signs of a total win or a total fail. And the results were always the same - I put too much effort and heart into something that just wasn't going to work out. It's so frustrating to me when I have nothing but good intentions while looking into a person's eyes, but then in the back of my mind, I know that they're not feeling what I think they're feeling. My good intentions and highest hopes in ugliest situations may have given me this bank of good karma that led me to him at this moment.

I believe in fate, too. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't responded and was scared off by his friendly gestures and kept my distance. I wonder what my heart would be feeling right now. I wonder if my ideas of fate + karma would have changed. And I can keep wondering, but I'm going to look at what I have in front me right now, him, and know that this is just the magic of life. And I'm going to accept it without any questions or complaints. I'm done asking questions. He's my answer.

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