Tuesday, August 03, 2010

as if i had never left...

When I left for NYC, I told myself that I would leave all my mistakes, scars, and pains behind and start fresh in the city. And I did. Believe me, I did.

But when I came back, all those mistakes were just staring me back in the face. Today, I found myself entangled in the very thing the caused me so many nights staring at the wall wondering with tears in my eyes. Today, I was face-to-face with the very person that broke my heart for the first time. And it was as if I had never left home. As if I had never started all over again. And for that split second, I was sad and afraid of what was going to happen to me.

And then that moment passed, and I realized that I left those mistakes and pains behind before so I can do it again. I thought to myself, that maybe, I don't even have to leave home. I thought back to how much I've grown, what I've learned, and who I've met and gotten to know while I was in NYC. And I remembered that I shouldn't be sad anymore because of all those reasons I wasn't sad while I was away from home. So I looked him in the eyes, remembered what I've become, and just like that, I wasn't sad anymore. 

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