Monday, August 16, 2010
you were my cure.
I was heartbroken and sad for a while. That shit hurts, and I thought it would never go away.
But then he came along.
Someone different and new came into my life that made me believe that I was something special and that there was still hope for love around the corner. At first, my instincts told me to push him away once he started being extra nice and talking relationships. But he kept going on and on and slowly opening up the idea of being in love again. And like I said, I was terrified and was ready to sprint away. When I finally came home from NYC, I decided to give my heart the ultimate test and just go on a date with him to see if it was still worth all the talk. All the waiting was over, and we finally got to spend some time together. And we both agreed that it felt so right. And then I finally opened up completely to letting me be his.
Alas, in the end, it couldn't work out. The pressures of college were calling him away, and he thought it wouldn't work out. And to my surprise, I wasn't entirely upset. I wasn't sad or angry. And I realized that he might not have meant to be my boyfriend, but when he said that he almost got in a fight with the only boy to break my heart and that he wasn't going to run away from a problem, I realized that he was meant to be my cure. He made me realize that I don't have to be sad anymore. He held my hand and kissed my forehead in a different way that almost seemed foreign to me because it's been a long time since I've given love a chance like that. And it helped me move on from the heartbreak and the pain.
And even though we couldn't be together.