Monday, September 20, 2010

"i was lost today, and i needed you...i miss you."

There are those things that we have always wanted. Those things that when you think about it, you can't even remember the exact moment at which you craved that very thing with every thread of your soul. Those things that make you lay awake in bed at night right before you fall asleep, when your mind is most active, and you fantastize and dream about what life would be like if you could have those very things in your life right now. Those things that make being alive worth living yet almost painful at the same time. Those things that keeps your light turned on.

And for the longest time, I prayed and wished and hoped for something that I thought was never going to come for me for a very long time. My heart had been broken, and it seemed as if my healing strategies weren't good enough to heal it up all the way. I discovered this new kind of fear of never receiving love when I gave too much of it away. The fear that my efforts of happiness and compassion would someday mean nothing and be nothing but a high school memory. My dreams of love and a relationship were changed, and the path I was going to take to find the happiness of being with someone had been altered.

But I can honestly say that things are a lot clearer now that I'm with him.
And I'm not afraid to give certain parts of myself because I know I'll get it back.
And I've found this new kind of happiness that I thought only existed in my dreams.
But it's real. And it's just one of those things...

xobria

1 comment:

Zsara said...

Beautiful post - I'm glad things are better now :)