Monday, October 11, 2010

one. but we're not counting.

me: "time flies when you're having fun."
him: "yeah, don't want it to fly by too quickly though."

I seriously can't believe it's been a month.
And I know it's only been a month, but everything is going so swimmingly. We both decided that what we have found is something special that shouldn't be taken for granted. We're a friendship set on fire, that's for sure. We understand each other on the right level and even more. And for the longest time, I've been giving so much of myself away and never getting anything in return. It was so frustrating to me that it seemed like I would find someone I thought was right for me, but in the end, I knew I was only lying to myself. But this is real.

Sadly, I've had a lot of experience with bullshitters. I gave too much of my heart away for too long, and I never asked for anything in return. I did this in the hopes that my kindness and love would be enough to make something happen. I've learned that I tend to set my hopes too high and that led to my disappointment and heartbreak. My ideas of the perfect boy were altered and set very very high, and it lowered the chances of me ever finding anyone. I wanted someone that was like me - willing to give everything without asking for anything in return.
And I have found him.
One thing about him that I am so thankful for is all the little things he does for me. It makes my heart swell + melt. For all the right reasons, of course.

All the things that he does that leaves my heart in a puddle...
-DJ's and kills it on the mixing board + turntables.
-comes to pas de deux class at my studio with me.
-walk to the kids' section of Barnes + Noble with me just to look at the octopus books.
-talks about fashion with me. And he knows what he's talking about.
-admits that he hates math, but loves that I love it.
-buys me the perfect lunch.
-comes to my performances and makes his own bouquet of flowers from his home garden.
-makes his friends drive up a mountain just to see me.
-will think of a costume that will match mine for Halloween.
-read the Unbearable Lightness of Being so we can talk about it and sound intellectual.
-makes me rainbow cupcakes completely from scratch and brings me roses and seltzer water for my birthday.
-etc. etc. etc.

I'm not writing this to brag about my boyfriend. Or just to talk about him all the time. I'm writing this to tell all you girls what a real, nice boy does and you boys what you guys should do. It doesn't have to be extravagant or expensive. But it should be thoughtful, sincere, and simple. It should be real. Because if it's not real, then there's no point in doing anything with the relationship. Think about it.

So, happy one month, babe.
xobria

"love, whether newly born, or aroused from a deathlike slumber, must always create sunshine, filling the heart so full of radiance, this it overflows upon the outward world." - nathaniel hawthorne

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