Tuesday, June 29, 2010

sweet dreams.


And this is why I love New York.

Today my Austrian roommate and I were desperate for a class that would get us moving and make us sweat. We both only had a ballet and pointe class today, and we were craving some dancing that would get our booties popping. So we looked up some evening classes for Broadway Dance Center and Steps, and we decided to take a Contemporary class at 7:30 at BDC. Unfortunately, when we arrived there, we realized that we had mixed up the BDC schedule with the Steps schedule and there wasn't a Contemporary class at 7:30. However, the front desk people proceeded to ask us if we wanted to take the jazz class, so we signed up. It was so spontaneous and unplanned, but we wanted to dance.

And that's what this blog is all about - dancing. REALLY dancing. Tonight, I took a beginner's jazz class, and I still walked out of there with an empty waterbottle, pumping heart, deep breaths, boob sweat, and a big smile on my face. Most of the people in the class tonight haven't been dancing for very long, but when Ms. Debbie. gave them choreography they were werking it! There's technique and lines and extension, and then there's dancing. What I saw tonight in that class is really inspiring, and it's one of the reasons why I love this city so much. I love how you can just walk into a studio and say that you're going to take the ballet, tap, or jazz class that's about to start in 10 minutes. And you'll be surrounded by 20 other dancers that just there to dance because they truly love it and they truly want it. It doesn't get any better than that.

Some of my dreams have come true just by being here for less than 2 weeks, and I'm starting to get confused as to what is reality and what is still dreams. But maybe that's the way it's supposed to be - making your dreams a reality. And what a sweet sweet dream it is...

We danced to this song. And let me tell you, we were werking it just as well as these ladies...
 

Monday, June 28, 2010

let's recap...

I was bored and made this dandy little video.
Which just resulted in enhancing my dorkiness.
Enjoy.


xobria


Sunday, June 27, 2010

surprise, surprise!!



A couple months ago, I had a photoshoot for all the shows for the upcoming company season. And I said that there was a big surprise that was supposed to kept on the DL. And as much as I wanted to announce it to the world, I couldn't. I was specifically told by Mr. Pedro that I couldn't tell anyone, not even my beloved blog followers. But the secret is out!


The new company website has been put up, and all you have to do to find the surprise is click right...HERE!!!


PS. Sylvie Guillem is the best ballerina in history.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

little swan.



Today I saw American Ballet Theatre perform "Swan Lake". Believe it or not, this is only the third ballet I've ever seen (the first two being performed by Richmond Ballet). It was a dream come true being able to see one of the best ballet companies in the world perform one of my favorite ballets. Oh, and did I mention Gillian Murphy danced Odette/Odile this afternoon? I pretty much had a heart attack when I found out about it...


One of my friends came to my dorm room and told me + my roomies that ABT was performing "Swan Lake" today at around 1:15pm. The show started at 2. My roommate and I rushed our little asses out the door to get to the box office. We bought the cheapest tickets available at $25, and we were standing in the very back. I didn't care that I had to stand for about 3 hours straight, I was about to see Gillian Murphy! 
The show was absolutely flawless. Gillian Murphy left me gasping in awe and amazement. It's not just her nearly perfect technique that left me enchanted, but it was also the way she puts so much emotion into every step. And at the moment she started flapping her wings during the fouettes in the Black Swan pas de deux coda, I knew at that moment that she's beyond amazing. Odette/Odile is one of my dream roles, and watching one of my favorite dancers play that role right before my eyes was amazing. The white swan pas de deux brought tears to my eyes. It was beautiful in every single way, and it was truly a dream come true for my little ballerina heart.


Watching the performance today made me realize how far I've come. It was just about 2 years ago that me and three of my closest friends were rehearsing for the Cygnettes (four little swans). And my 4am friend was rehearsing to be Odette. And 2 years later, magical things are happening for all of us. We've grown as human beings and artists and dancers. It makes me smile and how far we've all come as a company of young, aspiring dancers. And it's just about to get better...but I'll save that for tomorrow.


xobria





Friday, June 25, 2010

fall + recovery.

Today my master class at Ailey was in a modern technique called Limón. It was discovered by José Limón. I've never taken a class that was strictly Limón, but I really enjoyed today's class. I really fell in love with the stylistics and ideas of this technique.
The teacher I had today was absolutely insane - all the best people are. He was yelling crazy things, and he pulled out the raw humanness in all of us. He kept telling us that that it's okay to be a hot mess, but you have to commit to being a hot mess. The way that he told us to embrace our mistakes and our imperfections made me feel so alive and truly human.

He taught us the most important aspect of Limón - fall + recovery. The idea that you can't recover without falling, and you can't fall without recovering. Everything works in opposition, yet everything is connected to something somehow. Some movements are initiated with the hands, and the feet will mimic. You will fall off balance to make balance. You will let your head, the heaviest part of your body, lead you in the right direction without knowing where you're going. You can't go up without going down. There wouldn't be day without night. And he made a very important point by saying that it's just not in the dance world, it also exists out there in the real world.

Trust me, I've fallen flat on my ass both in life and on the dancefloor numerous times. I've made the worst mistakes and slipped in pointe shoes. But just like Limón, I make a recovery. And it's important to learn how. It's going to take a lot of practice, a lot of falling, a lot of crying, a lot of sweating, lots of reading, and maybe a few cans of diet coke to make a recovery.

Trust me, I've been there...
 

Thursday, June 24, 2010


"boys are stupid...sometimes you have to put them in the freezer for a while." - leticia

Tonight I talked to my long time friend and old babysitter, Leticia. She practically raised me as a child when both my parents were at work. She changed my diapers, gave me baths, let me sleepover, etc. etc. And our families have been very close ever since the first time my mom took my to her house where she has her daycare center. I wrote about her giving me a card reading more than a year ago, and I decided to call her tonight because fate has led me to this amazing city, so I had to ask her what she can see in my future.

She proceeded to analyze my birthday and use numerology to tell me that I will be a very successful dance teacher + counselor. She says that I'm going to use my great ability and desire to help other people by becoming a teacher that will continue to inspire dancers and aspiring artists to go for their dreams. She told me that that's what I'm going to do, no question about it. And I believe it because, like she said, I love to help people. And when I become a teacher, I'm not going to be the mean kind that will be hard on the mind. I'm going to be there to motivate you, push you, and help you grow. I'm not even a teacher yet, and I'm already telling you what kind of teacher I am, ha.

But I had a burning question for her - what is in the future for me + him? When she gave me a tarot card reading over a year ago, she pulled the "love" card to tell me that I was in love. And she described this boy that I was in love with at the time perfectly without having me tell her a single thing about him. It was unbelievable. And the thing is, more than a year later, I'm still in love with the same boy. So I had to ask her. And she said, "You're going to find someone else. Soon. A dancer." And I was so caught by surprise because I could never imagine myself liking anyone else, being with anyone else, or being hurt by anyone else. And I asked her, "Here? In New York?" And then she responded with, "I don't know, but I see him. He's a dancer, and he's very cute." And I couldn't help but giggle at the the new adventure I might be finding while I'm here. She finished the phone call by saying that silly quote up there about boys being stupid and having to put them in the freezer...
And is it normal to be afraid? Is it normal to be unsure of what is in the future? To not want what is laid out before you? Is it normal to turn down another chance at love? I just don't know how I'm going to "find someone else" when the someone I want is him. Oh, the crazy ways this universe works...

Today at Ailey, I took a hip-hop master class. I'm not an expert in hip-hop because I don't have many opportunities to take one back home, 
so whenever I get the chance to take one, I take it (expect me to be taking a few at BDC). But today, our teacher, Robin, made us stand in a circle and go around one by one saying the following statement: "My name is ______. I dance because..." There are many many many reasons why I dance, but when it came to me I said, "My name is Bria. I dance because it makes me feel beautiful." There is nothing else in this world that makes me feel more beautiful, alive, raw, and invincible than dancing. And this is why I'm here right now away from the troubles of the world - to dance.

So, tell me...WHY DO YOU DANCE?


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

it just gets better + better.

bria ballerina + shufly at their finest - hot, sweaty, delicious after a ballet class.

I'm telling you - this city is magical. Magical things happen here. Dreams come true. People are beautiful. You dance your best. You sing your loudest. And you fall in love.
Today I didn't have a master class at Ailey, so one of my roommates + I decided to take a ballet class at Broadway Dance Center. We both just really needed a good ballet class to keep in shape and get rid of this icky, sore, tight feeling we both have. So we walked 15 blocks to the studios, and I was already sweating like crazy before the class even started. And as we were waiting outside the studio for the class to start, a familiar face was sitting by the window talking with another beautiful dancer girl. I tried to figure out where I've seen that gorgeous face before, but I couldn't really put my finger on it. I should have apologized for eyeballing her like crazy because I just kept staring trying to figure out who she was...and I realized that it was Nicole Schuman! I imagined meeting this fabulous woman before or after a Rockette show, but I had the privilege of taking a divine ballet class with her at the Broadway Dance Center. And let me tell you, she is a gorgeous dancer. I love her port de bras, and her extension is exquisite. It was phenomenal being in a class with her.

Every day since I've been here has had something incredible happen (even though the bikram yoga experience was the BAD kind of incredible, it was incredible) to me. I don't want to jinx anything, but it's just going to get better and better. I've got to live here... 

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

suitemates.

Today is my roommate's birthday, and we decided to cook up this cute little dinner to celebrate! Isn't this set up the cutest?! I think it's really cool that we're staying in college dorms because we're getting the college experience before any of us actually have to go!

This morning we went back to Ailey to get our schedules made, and I think it's kind of cool how they let you pick your schedule. You get to pick what days, what times, and what classes you want to take. You get to take up to 15 classes a day, but I wish I could take more! But today I found out that I am able to perform at the end performance! I signed up for a West African dance workshop that leads up to the end performance. I've never done West African, but I think it's going to be a great experience. And I'll get my chance to perform at the end!

Tonight I also got to meet a few students that attend Fordham University, and I asked them about the school. It was really great to ask people my pressing questions that have experienced the classes and the teachers and the real college life.

Now back to the dinner party...
xobria 

PS. I randomly decided to premiere my new song on Twitcam today since my all my suitemates were out. So here it is for those that missed it!

Monday, June 21, 2010

NYC.


Hello hello, everyone!! It's day number three in NYC, and I still can't believe I'm here. I'm sitting in the living room area next to a window that looks out into the streets of the city, and I still can't believe I'm here. I've waken up the past three days, including today, looked out the window, and just took a breath in awe at where I am.

I've fallen in love with a city. Not a boy.


I've gotten myself into a few troubling adventures just within the past two days here. My first day, I was in total tourist mode. I tried not to be, but I couldn't help it. All the times I've been to New York, I've never been to this side of the city - we always stopped at about Times Square. So being here for 6 weeks is a dream come true, and I'm going to take advantage of the city as much as possible.
I arrived here on Saturday afternoon, and my mom was quick in and quick out. She helped me unpack a little, and she was out of here. I set my room up a little bit then I realized I had some last minute grocery shopping to do, so I took a look at a map and left to explore what was close by. I walked myself over to Columbus Circle (AMAZING) with my big ass camera around my neck (I told you I was in tourist mode!) and went to the Whole Foods in the Time Warner Center. I bought some eggs, soy milk, bread, and green tea. After making my purchase, I started walking back to the dorms...or so I thought. I found myself on 55th St completely lost, but then I realized that all I had to do was turn around. Thankfully, I was only 5 blocks away from the dorms, so it wasn't a terrible walk back. But it was a little nerve-wracking for one of my first experiences in NYC by myself, ha.


Then on Sunday, I almost died. So here's the thing...There's this amazing + wonderful thing called Bikram Yoga. For those who don't know, Bikram Yoga is an intense yoga class in a room that's 100+ degrees. My roommate and new friends (yes, I can make new friends) decided to give Bikram Yoga a shot, so we went to one of the studios and signed ourselves up for a class. The class was a 90 minute class, and I lasted only half way through of 45 minutes. Why? Because my muscles locked up, and I started hyperventilating. It was too much for my body to handle. The first 30 minutes felt good - I was dripping sweat getting good stretches. But then my last 15 minutes in there were hell - I lost feeling in my face, feet, and fingers. But Bruce, the beastly instructor, dragged me out of the room onto the balcony, in the fresh air, and poured ice cold water all over me. He forced me to drink a whole bottle of smartwater and this amazing drink called Zico.

 It's tasty AND good for you. It's the new drink of the champions. After I gulped down one of these, I got moving! It's a magical elixir, I swear. Get into it.

Today was placement classes at the Alvin Ailey studios to figure out what levels I'm in. Walking into the Ailey studios this morning was surreal. It was breathtaking. I was walking in the same halls that AA company dancers walk through everyday before rehearsals. The studios are beautiful, and I had to remember to breathe because I caught myself holding my breath as I continued to look around the building. I even saw that one guy from SYTYCD!!! I believe his name was Edward (maybe Edmund?), but he had auditioned this year, but was later cut. He was just hanging around the halls talking to some of the students, and I was freaking out on the inside. It's a dancer thing...but after the placement classes this morning, I ended up getting into Ballet IV (out of 6 levels) and Horton I and Graham I. I'm totally not bummed out about being in the lowest levels for Horton + Graham because I have never trained in pure Horton or pure Graham. All the modern I've taken has always been a mixture of every technique, and it will be so great to be able to train in both in their purity. I'm here to learn, and I'm going to learn so much. Unfortunately, because of my low levels of Horton + Graham, I'm unable to audition to be in a repertory workshop to perform at the end of the program. Big bummer. But I know that these modern classes are going to kick my butt. But let me tell you - you always see those Alvin Ailey men walking around totally RIPPED. When I was there today, all the demonstrators lived up to that image. They were all so built and muscular, and I knew that I was in the right place.

My roomies and I went out to Times Square this evening to see it at night. One of my roommates is Austrian and has never been to NYC until now, so she has to see everything. And even though I've seen Times Square several times before, it seemed especially beautiful tonight. I'm telling you. I'm simply in love with this city. I don't ever want to leave...

 roomies <3

We're going back to the Ailey studios tomorrow to get our schedules made. And the rest of the week is filled up with master classes at the studios. But in my free time, I'm going to, other than be awestruck by the city, get my booty over to Steps on Broadway to get a Steps card and Broadway Dance Center to get a card there as well. Like I said, I'm in New York for 6 weeks!! I have to take advantage of all the opportunities around here because they're endless.

I had a chance to get behind the webcam earlier today, but for those who missed it, here it is! I'm looking a little rough after placement classes and maybe a little boring. But I will gladly do more of these webcam show type things if you guys are up for it!
I also got this app on my iPod where I can text for free, and I have a special number. And I thought it was a great way for you guys to send me questions while I'm on camera! So feel free to text me for any reason!! But like I said, it's not my real number, so don't try to call it. Get at me at (434)-535-6384!!

Off I go! The city is calling...
xobria 

Friday, June 18, 2010

fate.

"it wouldn't surprise me if in 10 years you guys are together."

I do see us together in 10 years.
Fate already led us this far.
It's not going to stop, right?




This leaves me breathless + in tears.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

two.


I'm leaving for Baltimore tomorrow, and I'm still not completely packed. I've got tons more laundry to do, more shopping to do, more packing to do...and I've got less than 24 hours to do it all. I have no idea how I'm going to do it. Thank goodness for mothers though.

Today, I opened up my first banking account. Got my first debit card. And let me tell you, I am SO tempted to do some crazy online shopping that I've been wanting to do but couldn't because of my lack of credit or debit card. But now that I have one, it's TOO tempting to blow all my money on Sugar + Bruno gear as well as cute Urban Outfitters stuff. It's just too tempting for a 16-year-old shopoholic...

The next time I'll be posting, I'll probably be in NYC already!! It's all just unbelievable, and I'm just as excited as you guys are. Okay, maybe a little more. But super ecstatic for sure.

Goodbye, home!
Hello, New York City!
xobria

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

the words i never said.

"among my most prized possessions are words that i have ever spoken." - orson scott card

So, I'm reading this book. It's called Dreamland by Sarah Dessen. I've heard about this lovely author and have even quoted her once or twice on this blawg of mine. But I've never read any of her books, so while I was at good ol' B+N the other day, I picked one off the shelf. I began to read it, and it was a little slow start at the beginning. And then she met the boy. His name is Rogerson, and she couldn't stay away.

All the thoughts that were running through her teenage head of hers were the ones that I've always wanted to say/write down/blog about/etc. but never did. I was afraid that people would continue to try and figure out who this boy I speak about is and succeed. And that was the last thing I could ever want...but it was somewhat comforting to know that someone out there was more courageous than me to write down the stinging thoughts of infatuation + love. And as you can imagine, I was in tears from the memories brought back to the front of my mind by these perfect words written by Ms. Dessen.

And it was like one of those situations where you have a slice of delicious double chocolate New York style cheescake. But you want more. You know you probably shouldn't have another slice, but you can't help yourself so you get another one anyway. That's what happened with me and this book. The weird pain/satisfaction/happiness/nostalgia/comfort I was feeling while reading it brought tears to my eyes, and I thought I couldn't handle reading another page without bursting into tears again. But I wanted to read some more - to find out what happens next + to remember him just a little longer.

I'm not done with this book quite yet, but I like it so far.
I'm not done with him quite yet, and I don't like that.

Monday, June 14, 2010

questions.

"that was one of the craziest things i've ever done."

The last time I did something for the first time? Tonight.
I had a thrilling evening with him, but it was all so bittersweet. We had a great time reminiscing old memories accompanied by some of our favorite songs. Among some of the things we talked about tonight, I dared to ask, "Why didn't we ever date?" My insides were turned inside-out after asking this question, and I was prepared for the truth, whatever it was. And he gave me an answer that I wasn't looking for, but I'm content. It was nice to get that question out of my head and out of my heart. And so we said our final goodbyes, and he wished me well in New York. And I'm content.

You could say that this is our song...


I miss talking about dance as much as you guys do, but don't you worry! Dance news + updates will be on their way in approximately 5 days! I received my roommate assignments tonight, and a couple of them even texted me to introduce themselves! It was a sweet gesture, and I can't wait to meet them all! Just a few more days at home, and I'll be off...

Sunday, June 13, 2010

the week.

T-minus 6 days until NYC/the best summer ever.

As strange/lame/depressing/exciting as it sounds, I'm going to start over in the Big Apple this summer. I'm leaving everything behind - my mistakes, false hopes, pipe dreams, and you - and starting all fresh. The way I look at it is, I'm going to be sad, very soon. I'm going to know the truth, very soon. I'm going to fall out of love, very soon. And to beat the sadness + heartbreak all of this is going to bring, I need to get ahead and get happy. Kill it with my happiness, as Keltie's saying goes with a little twist.
Starting fresh means I'm going to be meeting new people, making new friends, rediscovering/creating myself, falling in love with new people/things/ideas/places/music, stop thinking about you/what we had/our memories everyday and before I go to sleep every night, moving on, and finding other things that make me happy. It's going to be fantastic.

This week is going to be a crazy one consisting of:
-hanging out with as many friends as possible
-buying about 5 pairs of pointe shoes
-figuring out what I want to bring
-figuring out what I'm going to be eating during my stay in NYC since I won't have my mom's yummy home cooking
-stocking up on teas
-cuddling up with my pup as much as possible before I have to leave him
-reading "Shoplifting from American Apparel" by Tao Lin. It's delicious.


NYC here I come!!
xobria


PS. This is the cutest cover I have ever seen/heard.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

single digit.

Oh my goodness!! We're down to single digits, my friends!! NINE days until NYC!! I'm starting to feel a little frazzled because I haven't gotten new pointe shoes, bought some bedding/kitchen supplies/toiletries/food/etc. for my dorm, or hung out with some great friends. I need to do ALL of those things before I leave, which is apparently a lot sooner than I think!!

My first few days of summer have not only consisted of booming techno music, but I've also spent some quality time with my guitar. I wrote a new song, and it's been MONTHS since I've written a song. And it feels great to get creative with music again. Here I am obsessing over this song...

I'm leaving for Baltimore tomorrow afternoon. My mother wants me to meet a couple of her friends that live in NYC just in case I need anything immediately while I'm up there for the summer. I find out my roommate assignments on Monday! I already know one of my roommates because we put in a request to be roommates together! I went to Richmond with her last summer, and it was extremely crazy that we ended up going to Ailey together. I'm not complaining though because we're going to have a blast in the big apple!!

xobria

PS. I love all of you. I really really really do <3

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

techno craze.

First day of summer = techno music craze.

You all know that I have a weakness for boys with incredible guitar skills. And I have a particular weakness for some sick beats. All day I've been searching for the slickest beats around, and I've been craving a raving all day long. Even though I am a big fan of the mixer and turntable, I think I'm still a noob to this whole "drop the beat" scene. But it's whatever...

There's a rave going down this Friday night with the most legit guys as the DJ's. They go by Tai + Dakota. And I'm super bummed that I won't be able to go, but I was able to suggest a few songs to play at the house party. I will make it to one of these parties sooner or later. And I will make it to an actual rave someday...


This song has been on repeat:

Monday, June 07, 2010

nothing lasts.

"all things end." - brett keller; from the lie

Today was the last day of junior year.
Today was a fun day.
Today was the last day of school with you.

Today I brought my guitar to school only to have several jam sessions with other musicians at the school. We had a lot of fun just creating silly tunes and playing songs together. I can't even count how many times we played "Hey, Soul Sister" today. Too many, that's for sure. But it was such a great thing to do bring out the end of the year!

This year has been a crazy one. So much has happened, been broken, changed, disappeared, been created, and found. It's truly amazing how one person can grow so much, two people can become so close, two people can grow apart, one person can change your life with a single word, a group of people can be called your best friends forever, all in just a single school year. As the year went on, I couldn't help but think that I have only one year left of grade school, and today made it so real. As soon as that final bell rang, I was a senior. Just like that. And I cheered along with my fellow classmates as we stormed out of the school as the next top dogs of the high school. It's so strange to think that the next time I'll be going to school it will be my "Last First Day of Grade School". How insane...
But sadly, all things end. Especially the good things. So here's to you, Junior Year. You were a great one. You fucked me over with your insane schoolwork, made me make a fool of myself at sporting events, allowed me to be less insecure resulting in some new + great friends, and left me completely exhausted in the end. You were an unforgetable and special year. But good riddance!!!

So now that school is over, I've got one big pressure off my life. Just for the summer at least. Because now I'm going to be getting ready for the one and only Alvin Ailey Summer Program!! I've been receiving e-mails the past couple of weeks from the school notifying me when I'll get my roommate assignments, what to bring, what I can expect for the first week, et cetera et cetera...And I can't help but giggle in excitement of the summer to come! What I've received most recently is that I'll be checking into the Fordham University dorms on June 19th! Which is in approximately 12 days! In the meantime, I'm taking classes throughout the week to keep in shape, as well as buying summer necessities such as good books, new bathing suits, and new music.

Summer 2010 is my new best friend.
xobria


i don't know why we're created.
but i know that, i know we all die...
i just do as i do.
yeah, i do as i please.
and that's all i can do.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

tomorrow.

"time you enjoy wasting was not wasted." - john lennon

Tomorrow is my last day of junior year.
Tomorrow might be a sad day.
Tomorrow is my last day of school with you.

For some reason, I have it in my mind that if I beg, love, and live hard enough, time will listen to me. But time doesn't give a fuck about anyone. It's going to keep on going, and going, and going...forever and an eternity. I always thought time was on my side until I wanted to stop it.

I want to freeze time so badly.
For me.
For him.
For us.

Friday, June 04, 2010

liar.


I hate liars.

I hate trusting you.

I hate pretending like I could live without you.

I hate believing everything you say.

I hate falling for your shallow lies.

I hate knowing that you're lying.

I hate that I don't do anything about it.

I hate lying to myself by telling myself that I'm better off without you.

I hate liars.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

me + my gross armpits.



Dear Channel 7,

It was an exciting afternoon to be dancing around the art galleries of the art museum and having people gawk at the pretty tutu and my pointe shoes, but I didn't like it when your cameras were in my way. And it would've been cool if you stuck around to see the little Girl Scout troop get all giddy when they saw the pink sparkles. But you did manage to put together a very nice story together for the 11 o' clock news nonetheless. And you even got a shot of my gross armpits.
Thank you very much for that.

Yours truly,
Bria

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

wonderful.

You: "What are you thinking about?"

How everything is perfect when I'm with you. How I seem to forget the world and all its troubles and all its cruelities because all I have is you. This moment. I'm thinking about what it would've been like for you to call me your girlfriend, baby, or darling. About how I've falsly told my friends that you were my boyfriend. I'm thinking about why I've never been sure about how you've felt. Why you never told me to stop or to go. Why we were always a secret and never a show. I'm thinking about your future and how I'm not going to be in the picutre. About how I'll still think about you everyday. I'm thinking about our special places that we held each other close. The secrets we've told each other. When time didn't matter. And I got in trouble with my parents for coming home so late. I'm thinking about asking you to tell me the truth. No matter how much it hurts. Just to hear your voice. I'm thinking about everything about you and me. You minus me. You. Me. I'm thinking about how you make me wonder. And I guess that's what makes you wonderful...

Me: "Nothing. Don't worry about it..."




Tomorrow is living statue day for Bria Ballerina, and I am very excited! I have no idea what to expect, but it should be interesting. I'll be there all night posing in a pretty white tutu smiling at the passersby. And admission is free on Thursdays, so maybe you can come and try to make me giggle.

Also, I received this in my e-mail. I need to get my passport renewed...

Just a few days left of school.
And less than 3 weeks until Ailey! Let's get this summer started!
xobria

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

perfect day.

"but, bria...it's not even wednesday!"

Today was the most perfect day in every single way possible.

When he said, "This is magic...we're so comfortable around each other. I love it."
And when he said, "Even if you were some scary murderer, I'd still be here with you. Right now." and held me in his arms just for a little bit...

It started off with a scary + beautiful thunderstorm. Its thunder made my house shake and made my heart skip. The rain was coming down hard, and my skin was drenched in some spring rain. And that's how I met him.
He + I went to our spot. The spot that we've had since the beginning of time. And as the steam off the trees and ground rose, we took a little walk. We talked about life, school, our dreams, and music. The usual. But this time it was a little different. Time is on our heels, and it made this time even more precious. He sang me a tune and held my hand in a funny way. We looked and smiled at each other in the sun, and we were infinite in that moment. Nothing could break us away from what was happening at that moment between us. Not reality. Not even time. It was truly perfect.

And at the end of the day, I cried a little. For both joy + sadness. In joy for the perfectness of today. In sadness for it being one of the last moments I will ever have with him...

And I said, "I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss you."