Thursday, December 01, 2011

nothing but the best for you.

I'm thinking of the last time I went to your house...
The night ended with false innocence. We pretended like we were never lovers. We pretended like we didn't hurt each other.
I got in my car, like it was in the beginning - it's as if we traveled backwards in time, going back to a time when we barely knew each other. And before I started the engine, I sat there and stared at the window. Not through it. Just at it. And I thought to myself that maybe I'll okay.
I start the car, and the words of the song begin to play. This song. Overplayed, I know. But I still love it with a passion. And it couldn't have been more perfect as I pulled up behind you at the stop light, and our turn signals were heading the opposite directions.


We went our separate ways.
Maybe not forever, and hopefully not.


I truly wish nothing but the best for you.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

what you want.

You got what you wanted.
And somehow I'm okay with that.
Because somehow I got what I wanted too - proof.
I finally got proof that everything is going to be okay. We're going to be okay - whatever that may entail.
I got proof that you're not who I used to know. And as sad as that makes me, I'm starting to think that you're right. I'm starting to think that we're better off alone.

This whole time I couldn't understand why you did what you did, but now I'm seeing that it's what you really want. And what you want is always for the best.
I kept asking you, "What do you want?" and your answer always was always so painful and it killed me. I know you never meant to hurt me, but you did.

You are different.
We are different.
Hard to believe, but easy to see.

Monday, November 28, 2011

You are the one on my mind when I lay my head on my pillow at night.
You are the one on my mind when all I want to do is just sleep but can't because you're there.
You are the one on my mind at the moment right before I drift off into dreams.
You are the first thing to come to mind as I open my eyes in the morning.
Regardless of what I dreamt of that night.

You are the last thing I want to dream of .
But the first thing I want.
xobria


but don't you remember? don't you remember?
the reason you loved me before.
baby, please remember me once more.

Friday, November 25, 2011

breathtaking.



Today I spent some much needed quality time with my best friends - Sarah and Marie (unfortunately, Courtney couldn't complete our quartet because she had to work). I have missed these girls terribly since I've gone to school, and we needed some time to catch up and just love each other. We went on a hike up to Tinker Cliffs. It's a part of the Appalachian Trail and a good 3-mile hike. The weather was absolutely gorgeous and perfect for a hike.


My best friends and I have been through a lot the past several months. We each have our own kinds of problems, but nonetheless we're fighting our own battles. Today I got to vent and spill all my emotions on my best friends, and they did the same. I know that we all needed it - isn't that what best friends are for? And we all agreed that today we didn't just climb up to the top of a mountain to see a gorgeous view; we climbed an emotional mountain. We gave each other advice and talked about things that only best friends talk about, and it made me beyond thankful that I have these girls in my life.

And once we got to the top, my breath was taken away. There are several reasons why I miss Roanoke, but the mountains and nature are definitely at the top of my list. The pictures don't do it any justice, and standing at the edge of the mountain today, I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself and the life I live; and I haven't felt that way in a long time.

When something takes my breath away, I let it take it and steal it for that moment. I let the wind tangle my hair and make my eyes water. I let the thousands of feet of earth below me hold me up as I let everything go. I let the thousands of miles of ocean before me flow with the beat of my heart. I want to feel small. I want to feel like in the grand scheme of things, my problems and worries are completely insignificant. I want to feel tiny compared to the big rocks next to me. I want to feel like 1 in 6 billion people. I want to feel like I'm billions of light-years away from the stars in see in the sky. I want my breath to be taken away.

That is the feeling that I live for because there's nothing like feeling like your problems don't even matter. 
It's just you and this big beautiful world that you're surrounded by.
xobria

 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

gratitude saves a broken heart.


It's been exactly a month since I've written a blog post.
And within that month I did a lot of crying, changing, growing, dancing, breathing, sleeping, and living. I did it all for myself, and I needed it. I needed time to sort out thins with myself and my heart. I've really been going through a tough time the past month, and I need to take this time to say that I am thankful for it.

Even through all the pain and confusion that I've felt the past month, I'm thankful for every bit of it. I wake up every morning alive, and I think that's a wonderful think to be thankful for in itself.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving today with my family. I ate my weight in food, and it will be fun trying to lose it all in time for Nutcracker. I love being home from school. I'm finding that I'm missing home a lot more than I thought. I really wish that I could stay here for a lot longer...
Every year, I post a list of things that I'm thankful for. And without fail, here it is:

my family. I know that last year, I felt like I was so ready to leave the house and I felt like we were outgrowing each other. But I still love my family, and I miss them a lot more than they will ever know. They give me everything I need and more.

my best friends. Being away from home is making me realize who my real best friends are. They're like my sisters, and they know everything about me. They're always there when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to fart with. I really don't know what I would do without them.

dancing. This is a given, but I am always thankful for the art of dance and what it has brought to my life. My opportunities as a young dancer are opening up faster than I thought they ever would. Dance has seriously gotten me through the toughest times in my life, and I am happy and full of life today because of it. It will never leave me, and you can expect to see me dancing until the day I die.

pumpkin. I am so obsessed with everything pumpkin flavored. As much as I wish that pumpkin was a year-round kind of thing, the fact that it only comes around fall-time makes it worth waiting for every single year.

college. Although that dancers necessarily need to go to college for a successful career, I am glad that I am going to college. It's a great experience, and it is everything that people crack it up to be - fun, stressful, exciting, and fresh. And I'm thankful that I get to have that experience.

nature. Living in the city has made me realize how beautiful Roanoke is, and how much I really do miss the mountains, valleys, and miles of woods. Although I will always be a city girl, I could stay out here forever.

food, clothing, and shelter. I am thankful for this every single day, and you should be too.

puppies + kittens. When it seems like you're all alone, your pets will always be there to cuddle with you and lick up your tears that you only shed when you feel truly alone. They always love you no matter what.

coffee. Have a cup every morning. Great way to start the day.

you. I've had this blog for about 3 years now, and some of you have been reading it from the beginning. As have I, this blog has had its ups and downs. You have read my deepest thoughts, and although that would make some people uncomfortable, to me it's comforting. It's comforting to know that amazing people like you read my thoughts and are somehow touched or inspired, and I'm thankful for every single one of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving, loves.
xobria

PS. Found this video, and it is completely relevant. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

hey, heartbreak! i remember you...

in times of change in my life, i always turn to my favorite book: the unbearable lightness of being. it never fails me <3

It has certainly been a while since I've felt anything close to heartbreak.
But I certainly haven't forgotten the feeling. Or what happens and how you're going to deal with it.

I believe that a heart can only be broken once. Because you pick up all the pieces you have left and take the time to put them back together as best as you can. And whoever hurts your heart after that is just putting in new cracks or opening old ones. And you feel the stinging of the open cracks and your heart hurts. And it aches.

The good news is: your heart isn't broken.
The bad news is: you remember what it's like to be heartbroken.
More good news is: since you've been through it before, you can get through it again. Maybe even faster and maybe even make your heart even stronger.
More bad news is: you remember what it's like to be heartbroken. And it might take you just as long as the first time...
But it's all up to you as to how long and how you will deal with it. You're strong. And your heart may be cracked and bruised, but you'll get through it again. And you'll come out stronger than before. I promise.

My heart isn't aching anymore.
It was until now.


Today was a good day.
Today I felt good.
Today I felt amazing.

xobria

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

you've gotta open your eyes to see.


When my last claddagh ring broke, things took a turn for the better.
I found my cure, and I found my true love.
And I'm really hoping that things will start looking up for me one of these days. Actually, I'm just hoping for one thing.

I went through my old journal entries to find that I have learned a lot of things thus far in my life. I have learned a lot of tough lessons the hard way, but still I ignore what I've learned. I cried a lot over my failures and promised to never regret them, yet after crying, I went on to keep making the same mistakes and hurting myself and the ones I love alike.


But I'm finally learning my lessons.
I'm opening my eyes.
I'm seeing me - strong, willing, wise, and young.
Please see me, too.
xobria



and when you told me, "tomorrow never comes quite soon enough"
i remember saying, "what about today? yeah, we are here today. tomorrow always seems so far away."

PS. Andy Shauf = my new obsession.

Friday, October 14, 2011

real life.

just a few dance majors at vcu...
class of 2015 <3


Okay, enough with the vague/depressing/heartbreak blog posts. I need to get back to what's going on in my life right now...

Today at RB, we had a dress rehearsal for the performances we have tomorrow for the Richmond Folk Festival. We've been chewing up Paquita and breaking it down as far as possible to get it as perfect as possible for tomorrow. I've been working on this ballet for so long now that I'm ready to werk it! After tomorrow, we'll put Paquita away in our pockets until the spring when we have to perform it again for the end-of-the-year showcase.
And another announcement....WE FINALLY STARTED NUTCRACKER!! It is so weird starting Nutcracker this late. Back home with Pedro we would start working on Nutcracker in August (even sometimes July), so starting it this late is so strange to me! From what we've been learning, I'm a Snowflake and a Flower so far. I can't wait till it gets closer to performance time. I'm really excited to perform with the company for the first time!

Also, this week I met a member of the cast of the Broadway show "Wicked"! On Monday, a short gentleman with a mohawk walked into our ballet class at RB. And we were all wondering who the hell he was, and then one of the girls asked him if he was from "Wicked". And indeed he is! His name is Ryan Jackson, and he's so cool! He took ballet with us a few days this week, and the best part was getting to talk to him about getting a job in this crazy world called Showbiz. He gave us really great advice about finding where you fit into Showbiz, and the ins and outs of auditioning and booking jobs. Him talking about it all made me want to get out there and start auditioning and getting jobs already! It got me really excited for when that time comes for me.
Today, Ryan taught a class at VCU, and I went to it. He taught us a jazz combo with choreography in the style of the show "Wicked". I love getting to get outside of the ballet bun and get into some booty shorts + a sports bra to get all sweaty after dancing a fierce jazz combo. I miss taking jazz every once and a while...

My family is coming up to visit me this weekend and see the performance tomorrow. I can't wait to see them! Midterms are in a couple of weeks, and I'm sooo not ready for them...


To a dancer's life and the college life...
xobria

are you still in love with me?


My head is still spinning with millions of questions.
And all I need is one answer.

Maybe then I'll stop feeling sorry for myself and regretting everything.



are you still in love with me like the way you used to be or is it changing?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

heartache.


For once, I didn't text him back. And it didn't take as much as I thought it would to hold myself back from doing it, but I just didn't. And it feels good. I'm happy. And proud of myself. It's finally the ending to the a friendship in its most toxic form.

At this point, I know that I've healed from heartbreak. But that doesn't mean that I can feel pain in my heart every once and a while. That is called heartache. It's just a little twinge and sting in your heart when you're reminded of your heartbreak. It feels like you're on the brink of falling over the edge - going back down to the dark place that is heartbreak. But you won't. Please don't. You know you don't want to go back there ever again. So you save yourself and get back to reality. But the heartache still sits there in your chest ready to sting you again...


But you'll be okay. Your heart is okay. Everything is okay.
It's just a little heartache...
xobria


baby, we'll be fine
all we gotta do is be brave and be kind

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

promises.


I made a lot of promises to myself.
But they were all for you.

And with or without you, I'm going to keep those promises.


well are you such a dreamer?
put yourself in my shoes
careful what you wish for, love.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

a losing game.


Love is just a game that I will never understand.
It seems that no matter what my mind set is, I will never win.
I thought I knew what I was doing, but I was wrong.
I will never win.

you were what i wanted
i gave what i gave

Monday, October 10, 2011

adulthood.

birthday pumpkin pie.
crafty work done by my suitemates and RA <3

Guys. I'm finally legal.
It seemed like my eighteenth birthday would never get here! I've always been younger than everyone else in my grade, so it was so frustrating seeing everyone get their licenses and buying lottery tickets before me. But now I'm just as old as all of them!

I had a pretty good birthday. I was dancing all day, but I guess that's just how it is when you get older. Your birthday becomes less and less of a big deal. My suitemates were super cute and got me a cake. They even decorated the hall in honor of my big birthday! It definitely made my day. But that was the extent of my adult birthday celebration. And I'm quite content with that.

I may be an adult in age, but I will never grow up.
Always a child at heart.

This is for all the young ones - in body and soul.
xobria

in a year's time...

"problems are inevitable. misery is a choice." - ann landers

Call me a fool for thinking this (I don't care), but I thought I would never be sad again. A year ago, I thought I had everything I could ever need in my life to be totally happy. And I truly believe I did.

I hate that you can have it all, and then in a year's time it can all be gone.
I'm going to have a ton of things to wish for on my birthday candles this year...




EDIT: I may have had a long list of things on my birthday wish list this year, but they were all about you...

forgive me, lover, for i have sinned

for i have done you wrong

Monday, October 03, 2011

thoughts.



I've written thousands of posts about how I think too much and how all the thoughts swimming through my head will be the death of me. Today there are thoughts in my head forming a hurricane that may cause some serious damage. So much can happen in less than 24 hours. And by that I mean - I can learn a lot about myself, who I am and what I truly want, in less than 24 hours.

One thought that has been haunting me all day is this - if it weren't meant to be, then we wouldn't keep finding our way back to each other. For it to be "meant to be" doesn't necessarily mean being together/dating. To me, it means that we're meant to be friends for life. No matter what, you will always be there. I really like knowing that.

There are so many thoughts flying around in my head.
One of them is wondering what thoughts are running through your head...

so i'll write you the longest letter describing my feelings 
and all these stupid things.
i'll cross my fingers that your heart melts,
and you look at me and tell me "darling, where have you been?"

truths.

Truth: Soulmates exist.
Truth: Your soulmate and your true love aren't necessarily the same thing. In fact, they might even be two different people.
Truth: Different perspectives of a situation can make one that is really simple seem really dramatic. 
Truth: I am not heartbroken anymore.
Truth: There are different kinds of love exist, too.

These are a few truths that I have discovered recently.
He said the words that I have been dying to hear for the past forever. And it reminded me why I always think about everything the way that I do.


Truth: We always seem to pick up right where we left off.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

perfection.


Today I learned a lesson about perfection.
Currently at Richmond Ballet, we are working on the pieces we are performing at the Richmond Folk Festival in a couple of weeks. And of course one of the pieces is Paquita. Yes, the same Paquita I learned back in freshman year of high school. Yes, the same Paquita I have been working on since about May. The difference between this Paquita is that I am a corps member and not the soloist. This is the real dance world now - not just a little baby non-profit pre-professional company. This is where my dance career will start and hopefully grow.

Today we had a three hour rehearsal of Paquita, and although I am getting really sick and tired of it, I have to suck it up and deal with it. Igor (the wonderful Ukrainian teacher that I have been in love with for the past forever...) has been running the rehearsals, and with only 2 weeks until the performance, it's coming down to the wire. We're cleaning and polishing it up like crazy. Igor is really being really meticulous and picky about everything, and we all get somewhat annoyed and tired of doing the same parts and the same things over and over and over and over again for three hours straight. And when we did it about a thousand times for him to notice us getting tired and annoyed, he gave us a mini lecture about the beauty that is in the perfection of classical ballet and corps work.

I've heard people wonder about how I deal with the pressures of perfection of the classical ballet world, but to be honest, the perfection of classical ballet is what I love about it. Dancers in general strive for perfection, but the most extreme form of perfection can be found in classical ballet. The lines, the alignment, the position of the head...everything has the be perfect for it to be truly breathtaking and beautiful. Igor explained the beauty that exists in creating a perfectly straight line of girls on the stage - knowing exactly where you are in the space on the stage and in relation to the other girls next to you. One girl out of line or a shoulder at a different angle makes lessens the magnitude of the effect. The perfection of it is what makes peoples' jaws drop and people sitting at the edge of their seats. It's the truly amazing part of ballet.

And as I contemplate about the truth about perfection in the ballet world, I am icing my thigh and sewing new pointe shoes.
To perfection and beauty,
xobria 

Friday, September 23, 2011

knowledge.


This is the music I am dancing to in Rick McCullough's piece. It is one of the most beautiful tunes I have ever heard. And this ballet piece takes my breath away every single time. I could watch it all day if I could.

Being on my own has reminded me that you must always be aware of you - aware of who you are, where you are, and what you're doing and becoming. This is the most dancing I have ever done on a regular basis, and being able to dance this much is making me love my life even more every day. I'm not going to lie, there are some days that I wake up feeling like I just want to lie in bed all day and relax. But being at the studios for hours on end just makes me happy knowing that I am doing what I love.


As dancers, we have to be fully aware of ourselves. Our location in space, our center of gravity, which line looks best for our body type...I just love being so sure about everything that I am a part of in one place. Life is ambiguous. No one knows for sure what's going to happen tomorrow or in the next 10 minutes, for that matter. 

Dancing makes me feel like I know everything.
Yet we still search for more.
That's what makes us artists.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

busy bee.

thank you, starbucks....
my new best friend - twyla.
megamind blueberry muffins.
and colorful flamed candles.

Dear followers,
I am slowly dying of exhaustion, but I wouldn't have it any other way. School is getting more stressful, and things are always busy here at Richmond Ballet. Rehearsals upon rehearsals with homework to deal with when I get home. But like I said, my life is busy and crazy and sometimes a little too complicated, but it keeps me young, excited, and moving through life.

On Monday I started rehearsals at the VCU dance building with the resident artist Rick McCullough (click here for a full bio!). He is here in town for the next two weeks to choreograph and set a piece on a few dancers here at VCU. The rehearsals have been going really well, and his choreography is amazing - so organic and pure. I can't wait until the whole piece is finished. I love that I get to work with dancers both at RB and VCU. I have all these interactions and connections at my fingertips in this city. I knew I would love it here...

The past few days have consisted of me being sick with bronchitis and laryngitis for about 2 weeks straight, going home, and baking crazy blueberry muffins. And this week is going so much faster than I anticipated!
Today I went on a coffee date with a new friend I've made here at school named Breckenridge. She is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met, and not to mention, has one of the cutest styles ever. She has a lot of pieces that I want to steal for my closet...our coffee date was also an interview for her style blog that she runs - breckenridgeclare.com. She did a quick interview of me for her blog, so make sure you go check out her post and follow her blog!!

And on that note....I'm starting up my own personal style fashion blog!! I've been really into fashion for like forever now (as you probably know from my lookbook.nu page) and meeting up with Breck today really got me excited about the fashion scene here in RVA. I will be a part of Richmond's Fashion Bloggers at http://rvafb.wordpress.com. Please follow to help the blog running and getting kicked off! I officially have sold my soul to the devil in making myself even busier - I didn't think it was possible! Once I get my style blog up make sure to follow - http://pointeshoes-stilletos.blogspot.com!


Thanks for always being beautiful, loving, and darling followers.
Love always,
xobria

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

if you don't want me to care, then i won't. but don't tell me not to love.


I can quite honestly say that I am totally jealous of everyone who is completely happy with their life right now. I’m stressed out of my mind, and my fears just keep growing everyday.

I knew that I would find out one day that hiding + suppressing my feelings would get me nowhere…

I’m scared.
Of everything and nothing at the same time. The fact that I’m here alone isn’t really helping either. I’ve never been one to depend on another single person to determine how I feel about my life, but somehow when love gets thrown into the mix, it just so happens to be that way.

I’m not happy. Hopefully it will just last for today…

Friday, September 02, 2011

exhibit A that i am 100% a dork...

video
 
I am so sorry that I am so jumpy/jittery/bouncy in this video. I am beyond exhausted from the week, and I feel like I'm ready to pass out! Also, I apologize for the really weird eyebrow action/facial expressions, the mile-a-minute talking, flailing hands, cellphone ring/checking the text messgage mid-video, etc. etc. etc...

Just a few more things that I didn't mention in the video...
We are doing Paquita for the Folk Festival in October, and I'm seriouslyyyy starting to get sick of it...I've been doing Paquita for the past 4 months! A ballerina can only hear that music for so long. Even though I'm complaining about it making me so tired, I love being a Trainee!! I love dancing for hours on end everyday, and I wouldn't spend that time in any other way.

Again, please ask me questions on my Tumblr (serious inquiries only)!

And I will apologize again for my spaziness/dorkiness...
Have a good Labor Day weekend!


Love always,
xobria

Sunday, August 28, 2011

home.

definitely don't see these guys in richmond...

As you may know from my Twitter, I went home for the weekend to escape the wrath of Hurricane Irene (if you didn't know, come follow/play with me on Twitter!). All of Richmond was under tropical storm warning, and my godparents were headed to my house to take refuge there for the weekend. So I hitched a ride with them, and we were all running for the hills (literally...). And it was weird going home after just being away for just a week. It was so short-notice, it was almost surreal. Once we pulled into town and I saw that big glowing star on the top of the mountain (our town's landmark), it felt like I hadn't even left. I got a home cooked meal from mom, and I got to jump in my full-size bed and snuggle under my covers. It was sooo nice.

When I got all settled into my college dorm, I wasn't really worried about getting homesick. I've gone away for dance summer programs, and I've never really had a bad case of homesickness. And I always complain how my house is boring and the town I live in is even more boring, but going home this weekend made me realize how much I actually love home. I'm quite sad at the fact that it took this long to realize that, but better late than never! There is just something so loving about coming back to my house in the mountains and driving around the city all night looking for something to do. Definitely something about it all that I'm going to miss this year in college...

And of course, after the 2nd day home, I was ready to come back to RVA and get back to work. (Also, my mom was kinda getting on my nerves...) But soon enough, the city of Richmond will become my home - my home away from home. And that's definitely cool, too.

xobria 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

dancers are crazy people.


Today were placement classes, orientation, and a department meeting for the dance department today at VCU. It was a reallyyyy long day starting at 9am ending around 5pm, but I got to spend the whole day dancing, walking around with, meeting with, and talking with all the other dance majors.


I want to bring up a very important point that I have come to notice over the years...dancers are crazy people. I actually think this applies to all performers. We're loud and obnoxious, but that's just the way we are. We love being exuberant, and I blame that on our high energy levels and ability to open up. Dancers really are some of the most fun people in the world. I might be biased, but if you have some dancer friends you might know what I'm talking about...

Being around all the dancers today made me get really excited about the year. I won't be dancing with most of the VCU dancers for the next couple years (due to my Traineeship with Richmond Ballet), but still being around them in the school will make this transition into college life a lot easier. Classes here at the college start tomorrow, and I only have one! It's a film class, and I'm pretty excited about it. It should be interesting!

xobria

PS. I hope you saw me post this on twitter and tumblr...I am in love with Ryan Gosling. And this video convinces me that we're going to get married in onesies...




PPS. I miss my kitten daughter :(

Monday, August 22, 2011

all growed up.

dorm room...new home.
first skype date with tai. i miss him <3

It's official! I'm all moved in to college. I got all moved in yesterday, the 20th. It was a crazy day with all the first-years hauling their entire life for the next year in bright yellow carts and dollies. It was hot and humid making the whole move-in process quite miserable, but after everything got up to my room the packing came quick and easy. I was so excited to get up here, get all moved in, and ready to start this college experience, I thought the goodbye to my family would be an easy one because I'm really not that far from home. But that final goodbye to my family was the complete opposite. As I stood there facing my parents, I realized that this is it. I'm on my own. I need to really understand what taking care of myself means because this is where it starts. And I just felt all grown up. I realized that up until this point in my life, I've been quite babied - at home and in school. Things are going to get very adult-like very soon...

My mom said, "I hope Dad and I taught you everything you need to know to take care of yourself." and I gave her a hug. And she started crying. Which made me start crying...and it turned into a bit of a mini cryfest. I really didn't think I would cry at that moment, but I did, which goes to show that you can't always control the future. But hopefully my very close future as a college student here is going to be in my complete control.


I've had fun the past couple of days just getting to meet people and get around the city. No crazy college shenanigans have happened...yet. I'm sure things will start getting off the ground in the next couple of days. And I'll try to be a classy college girl and keep it on the DL ;)

xobria

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

pour un infidèle.

It's finally over.
And it all came as a shock to me when the the truth was finally spoken from the words of a liar. I never thought I would see the day that I would hear something that would make my stomach fall to the ground and make my heart stop beating.

The thing about liars is that you get so used to hearing them lie, you can't believe anything they say. Whether it's the little things or the big things, they lie to you and you know it. But you brush it off because when it comes down to it the lies don't really hurt you. All they do is make the liar look like even more of a scumbag...

So when the truth rolls of their tongue, it's shocking. It's show stopping. It's tear jerking. And you don't know what to do. You become tongue-tied and lost for words.

And so it's officially over.
The truth has been spoken, and things are over with the liar and the cheat and the one who broke my heart for what seemed like an eternity.
That shocking moment he told me the truth lasted a few minutes, and after those few minutes I got over it and moved on with my life. And I mean, finally moved on with my life. I don't have to play along with the game that ended up having me lose every single round anymore. I lost you as a friend, but I am not a loser.

I am truly happy without you.
xobria


"et dans tes défaites, tu me promets, qu'un nouveau jour est pour demain."
("and in your losses, you promise, a new day is tomorrow.")


Sunday, August 14, 2011

SUMMER 2011.

No time for apologies. I leave for college in 6 days, and it's time for me to bring this little blog of mine back to life.

So, here's what I've done this ahhhmazing summer of 2011...

I performed my last season performance with SVB...
from cinderella pas de deux: act ii.
might upload the recording of this pas de deux. just maybe...
excerpt from don quixote.
 I did some graduating...
dance family <3
tai's family <3
familyyyyyyy <3
I rehearsed for the Prague trip...
shots from an original piece choreographed by Pedro Szalay entitled "Unknown".

I left for Prague, and I danced there...
from paquita pas de deux adagio.
"unknown" brought to life on the stage.

I chilled in Prague...



Our company won some awards in Prague...
SVB dancers and Pedro accepting the "Best Classical Dance" award. SVB was also awarded with the "Best Costumes" award. Also, two SVB dancers received talent awards.
I even discotheque-ed in Prague...

When I kissed Prague a sweet goodbye and got back to the United States, I went to Richmond for remaining three weeks of the five week summer intensive. My three weeks there would determine if I was accepted as a Trainee for the Richmond Ballet. And at the end of the summer intensive, I received the amazing news that I am now a Trainee with the Richmond Ballet along with a few other lucky girls! I am very excited for my first year as a trainee and to be with the Richmond Ballet, and I will be sure to keep you updated on my training, rehearsals, and performances!
This is the only picture taken of me at Richmond this summer, and I'm hammering out some noisy pointe shoes...
After Richmond, I rested and spent some time with my family and friends back home. And then went to the beach with my family for a couple of days before coming back...
rehoboth beach <3
And now I'm back home totally stressed out with college/dorm shopping because I leave in 6 days...this summer has flown by, and I can't believe I'm already getting ready to leave for college. This summer has been one of the most memorable thus far in my life, and I just wish it could've been a little longer to make this amazing feeling that I have last.
College/dorm shopping is not as fun as I thought it was going to be, but thankfully I'm all done with it. Now comes the dreadful part of packing it all up for move-in day. I hate packing, so this is going to be torture for me...

I will say one BIG "sorry" for being away for so long. The past few months have just come and gone. Seriously. If you were me, you would understand. There just wasn't enough time (or energy in my body) to sit down for 20 mins to write a little something on here. I'm excited to bring this baby back to life for the school year/company season.

I'm glad to be back!
Love always,
xobria