Wednesday, February 23, 2011

it's my fault that it's your fault.


I've said a lot of things that I should not have said. And I did a lot of pretending that I wasn't pretending.  The memory of Heartbreaker has been spilling out of my mouth like word vomit (the Mean Girls terminology is too perfect in this situation). Not because I think about him. Not because I care about him. Not because I miss him. But because I'm too used to the bad taste in my mouth whenever I say his name or talk about him. Spilling out just like word vomit.

And I've said a lot of things that hurt me more than it hurts the ones I love. It's about lying to myself and being too used to be hurt.

I've blocked Heartbreaker on Facebook. And all my friends, as well as I, are saying "Good girl."
For some reason, it took a lot to hit the block-button. But I did it.
And it's my last "fuck you".

Once upon a Heartbreaker time...and I lived happily ever after while he went to go fuck himself.
xobria

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