Friday, April 29, 2011
I went on a hike today.
A real hike.
An 4-mile hike up a mountain to get to the most beautiful outlook I've ever seen. It took my breath away.
I used to go on "hikes" with Heartbreaker. They weren't real hikes though. We'd pick the same trail, and always get distracted at the same spot and walk off the trail to our spot. The spot where he'd hold me and I'd lie my head on his chest. The spot where he told me secrets and actually said sweet things to my face. The spot where I was completely naked with him - emotionally and physically. The spot where I looked at his face in the sun and thought I was in love with him. The spot where I was completely stupid to fall for a heartbreaker like him...I should've seen from the hike that everything was fake. The hike was a fake because we never even made it to the end of the trail. And he was fake in every single way possible. And we were fake.
Today I went on my first real hike with Tai. It was so nice to go on a real hike where I would see the end of the trail. The hike was real, and the love I share with Tai is real. We made it to the top. And at the top was a new spot. It was a spot where I felt like I was at the edge of the world. A spot where I was fully clothed but still emotionally raw and naked. A spot where I looked at the boy that I am crazy in love with. A spot where I was completely sure about everything in my life...the fact that he went all the way to the top of the trail with me meant a lot more to me than anyone could ever know. And the fact that we're true to each other makes my heart feel more whole than it ever has before.