"if you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy." - proverb
A few days ago, Keltie tweeted: "why are we the worst to the people we love the most?"
And it had me thinking + feeling guilty. I've made so many mistakes. Too many mistakes for things to keep going on like everything is alright. My guilt is eating me alive every single day. And I know that I'm hurting the person that I don't want to hurt at all. My hopes of hiding things to not cause any hurt is doing the exact opposite. And in the end, making the mistake isn't worth the lying I'm doing and the pain I'm causing.
And I realize that now. It's not worth it. Seeing the person that I love the most being hurt by my stupid mistake is the worst feeling in the world because I know that I'm completely responsible and that I'm the only one that can change and fix things. It wasn't worth the energy I put in to hide everything. And it's not worth the tears I'm crying now...
A girl replied to Keltie's tweet, and Keltie retweeted: "because we know they love us regardless. and we take it for granted."
I'm completely guilty of taking this love for granted. This entire time, as much as I believed that I was ready for it, I wasn't ready for love yet. I was still scared. I was fully capable of loving someone and showing them how much my heart is attached to them, but when it comes to letting them love me, I'm clueless. I don't know how to let someone love me because of my fear. It's been over a year, and outside of the love world that's a long time. But inside the world of love, it's still too soon to let your heart be ready for something again.
But I'm going to change that.
Let them love you.