Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Today I learned a lesson about perfection.
Currently at Richmond Ballet, we are working on the pieces we are performing at the Richmond Folk Festival in a couple of weeks. And of course one of the pieces is Paquita. Yes, the same Paquita I learned back in freshman year of high school. Yes, the same Paquita I have been working on since about May. The difference between this Paquita is that I am a corps member and not the soloist. This is the real dance world now - not just a little baby non-profit pre-professional company. This is where my dance career will start and hopefully grow.

Today we had a three hour rehearsal of Paquita, and although I am getting really sick and tired of it, I have to suck it up and deal with it. Igor (the wonderful Ukrainian teacher that I have been in love with for the past forever...) has been running the rehearsals, and with only 2 weeks until the performance, it's coming down to the wire. We're cleaning and polishing it up like crazy. Igor is really being really meticulous and picky about everything, and we all get somewhat annoyed and tired of doing the same parts and the same things over and over and over and over again for three hours straight. And when we did it about a thousand times for him to notice us getting tired and annoyed, he gave us a mini lecture about the beauty that is in the perfection of classical ballet and corps work.

I've heard people wonder about how I deal with the pressures of perfection of the classical ballet world, but to be honest, the perfection of classical ballet is what I love about it. Dancers in general strive for perfection, but the most extreme form of perfection can be found in classical ballet. The lines, the alignment, the position of the head...everything has the be perfect for it to be truly breathtaking and beautiful. Igor explained the beauty that exists in creating a perfectly straight line of girls on the stage - knowing exactly where you are in the space on the stage and in relation to the other girls next to you. One girl out of line or a shoulder at a different angle makes lessens the magnitude of the effect. The perfection of it is what makes peoples' jaws drop and people sitting at the edge of their seats. It's the truly amazing part of ballet.

And as I contemplate about the truth about perfection in the ballet world, I am icing my thigh and sewing new pointe shoes.
To perfection and beauty,

Friday, September 23, 2011


This is the music I am dancing to in Rick McCullough's piece. It is one of the most beautiful tunes I have ever heard. And this ballet piece takes my breath away every single time. I could watch it all day if I could.

Being on my own has reminded me that you must always be aware of you - aware of who you are, where you are, and what you're doing and becoming. This is the most dancing I have ever done on a regular basis, and being able to dance this much is making me love my life even more every day. I'm not going to lie, there are some days that I wake up feeling like I just want to lie in bed all day and relax. But being at the studios for hours on end just makes me happy knowing that I am doing what I love.

As dancers, we have to be fully aware of ourselves. Our location in space, our center of gravity, which line looks best for our body type...I just love being so sure about everything that I am a part of in one place. Life is ambiguous. No one knows for sure what's going to happen tomorrow or in the next 10 minutes, for that matter. 

Dancing makes me feel like I know everything.
Yet we still search for more.
That's what makes us artists.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

busy bee.

thank you, starbucks....
my new best friend - twyla.
megamind blueberry muffins.
and colorful flamed candles.

Dear followers,
I am slowly dying of exhaustion, but I wouldn't have it any other way. School is getting more stressful, and things are always busy here at Richmond Ballet. Rehearsals upon rehearsals with homework to deal with when I get home. But like I said, my life is busy and crazy and sometimes a little too complicated, but it keeps me young, excited, and moving through life.

On Monday I started rehearsals at the VCU dance building with the resident artist Rick McCullough (click here for a full bio!). He is here in town for the next two weeks to choreograph and set a piece on a few dancers here at VCU. The rehearsals have been going really well, and his choreography is amazing - so organic and pure. I can't wait until the whole piece is finished. I love that I get to work with dancers both at RB and VCU. I have all these interactions and connections at my fingertips in this city. I knew I would love it here...

The past few days have consisted of me being sick with bronchitis and laryngitis for about 2 weeks straight, going home, and baking crazy blueberry muffins. And this week is going so much faster than I anticipated!
Today I went on a coffee date with a new friend I've made here at school named Breckenridge. She is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met, and not to mention, has one of the cutest styles ever. She has a lot of pieces that I want to steal for my closet...our coffee date was also an interview for her style blog that she runs - She did a quick interview of me for her blog, so make sure you go check out her post and follow her blog!!

And on that note....I'm starting up my own personal style fashion blog!! I've been really into fashion for like forever now (as you probably know from my page) and meeting up with Breck today really got me excited about the fashion scene here in RVA. I will be a part of Richmond's Fashion Bloggers at Please follow to help the blog running and getting kicked off! I officially have sold my soul to the devil in making myself even busier - I didn't think it was possible! Once I get my style blog up make sure to follow -!

Thanks for always being beautiful, loving, and darling followers.
Love always,

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

if you don't want me to care, then i won't. but don't tell me not to love.

I can quite honestly say that I am totally jealous of everyone who is completely happy with their life right now. I’m stressed out of my mind, and my fears just keep growing everyday.

I knew that I would find out one day that hiding + suppressing my feelings would get me nowhere…

I’m scared.
Of everything and nothing at the same time. The fact that I’m here alone isn’t really helping either. I’ve never been one to depend on another single person to determine how I feel about my life, but somehow when love gets thrown into the mix, it just so happens to be that way.

I’m not happy. Hopefully it will just last for today…

Friday, September 02, 2011

exhibit A that i am 100% a dork...

I am so sorry that I am so jumpy/jittery/bouncy in this video. I am beyond exhausted from the week, and I feel like I'm ready to pass out! Also, I apologize for the really weird eyebrow action/facial expressions, the mile-a-minute talking, flailing hands, cellphone ring/checking the text messgage mid-video, etc. etc. etc...

Just a few more things that I didn't mention in the video...
We are doing Paquita for the Folk Festival in October, and I'm seriouslyyyy starting to get sick of it...I've been doing Paquita for the past 4 months! A ballerina can only hear that music for so long. Even though I'm complaining about it making me so tired, I love being a Trainee!! I love dancing for hours on end everyday, and I wouldn't spend that time in any other way.

Again, please ask me questions on my Tumblr (serious inquiries only)!

And I will apologize again for my spaziness/dorkiness...
Have a good Labor Day weekend!

Love always,